Quotes and One Liners

humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more

  • Home
  • About
  • Categories

    • Activities
    • Age
    • Animals
    • Appearance
    • Beliefs
    • Characteristics
    • Communication
    • Conflict
    • Death
    • Education
    • Emotions
    • Entertainment
    • Family
    • Food/Drink
    • Government
    • Health
    • Intelligence
    • Life
    • Marriage
    • Miscellaneous
    • Money
    • People
    • Places
    • Problems
    • Relationships
    • Science/Weather
    • Sex
    • Situations
    • Sports
    • Success
    • Things
    • Time
    • Work
  • Additional Categories

    • Book Titles
    • Confucius say
    • Definitions
    • Epitaphs
    • Exaggerations
    • Expressions
    • Hollywood Squares
    • Insults
    • Last Words
    • Murphy's Laws
    • Place Names
    • Proverbs
    • Reviews/Criticism
    • Song Titles
    • Tom Swifties
    • TV/Movie Quotes
  • Oops...

    • Bushisms
    • Church Bulletins
    • Classified Ads
    • Colemanballs
    • Headlines
    • Malaprops
    • Misspokements
    • Signs
    • Translations
    • Yogi-isms
  • Some Popular Authors

    • Abraham Lincoln
    • Alfred E. Neuman
    • Ambrose Bierce
    • Benjamin Franklin
    • Dave Barry
    • Demetri Martin
    • Dorothy Parker
    • Emo Phillips
    • George Carlin
    • Groucho Marx
    • H.L. Mencken
    • Homer Simpson
    • Jeff Foxworthy
    • Jimmy Carr
    • Joan Rivers
    • Mae West
    • Mark Twain
    • Mitch Hedberg
    • Oscar Wilde
    • Phyllis Diller
    • Richard Lewis
    • Rita Rudner
    • Rodney Dangerfield
    • Steven Wright
    • Stewart Francis
    • W.C. Fields
    • Will Rogers
    • Woody Allen
  • View All Authors

Author: Tom Bolton

I’m too lazy to work and too scared to steal.

Tom Bolton
professional baseball player
Baseball Characteristics Sports Work Laziness On why he kept playing despite seven years in the minor leagues













Copyright © Just-One-Liners.com