Subject: Classifieds (Page 15)

WANTED: Widower with school age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.

SECRETARY – needed for quick lube. 6 Days. Call… Stuyvesant Ave, Union, NJ.

Are all on-line realtors created equal? No, there's only one!

HAVE VIAGRA. Need woman. Any women between 18 & 80. PO Box ###. Boise, ID 83701.

Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

Pennzoil/Quaker State OIL CHANGE – $12 plus oil & filter

Can’t move or speak? It may be a STROKE. No one is too young. Time lost is brain lost. CALL 911

I'm just a girl who can't say 'no' (or 'anaesthetist') [sic]. Lisping Rodgers and Hammerstein fan, female lecturer in politics (37) WLTM man to 40 for thome enthanted eveningth.

FREE DUCKS. You catch.

Wanted: Preparer of food. Must like the food business, be dependable, and be willing to get hands dirty.

ADVERTISING COMPANY NEED one male talent, shooting the back only with our product kitchen stuff, please send your picture. If you are interested…

OFF Incest Repellent – Long Lasting Spray Repellent

Afghan Hound: male, 6 years old, very good poet. $400 obo…

hairorobert – IF WE CAN’T MAKE YOU LOOK GOOD… YOU UGLY! – 757-….

Selection As Big As The North Pole.

Orange, missing since 21st in Lakewood, $25 reward

Love Your Pet? Then Send A Valentine Message. We’re publishing a very special collection of Valentine wishes for your pet on Wednesday, Februay 14…

PRO PAIN TANK – Camping Size. $20 (408)266-….

Genuine Imitation Jungle Boots

Lost: Search & Rescue Dog – From 13th and Peoria area. Sunday, May…

This is the model home for your future. It was panned by Better Homes and Gardens.