Author: Personal ad

This advert is about as close as I come to meaningful interaction with other adults. Woman, 51. Not good at parties but tremendous breasts. Box no. 5436.

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internet dates? – these are insane computer time’s we live in – wow. But how can you trust all of these e-men – it is just not safe – i am 100% real and –did not ever go to jail –Talk to me on the phone –i shook barack obama’s hand on two occasions – i know 15 guitar chords –I have a big tv with blue ray’s – I AM A REGULAR GUY SEEKING A REGULAR GAL – if you like eating tacko’s and you like to watch cartoons and movies and you have large breasts we will get along very well so please ring me up: …

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Personal Announcements: S. Paraskos and Helen Walker would like to announce that they are no longer engaged.
Engagement: S.Paraskos of Paphos, Cyprus, and Nicola Jared of UK would like to announce their engagement. – Cyprus Weekly

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CHRISTIAN woman looking for Christian man partner who is sympathetic with woman who has mental illness and hears voices but is self controlled. Phone…

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I've divorced better men than you. And worn more expensive shoes than these. So don't think placing this ad is the biggest comedown I've ever had to make. Sensitive F, 34.

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Employed in publishing? Me too. Stay the hell away. Man on the inside seeks woman on the outside who likes milling around hospitals guessing the illnesses of out-patients. 30-35. Leeds.

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Mature gentleman, 62, aged well, noble grey looks, fit and active, sound mind and unfazed by the fickle demands of modern society seeks… damn it, I have to pee again.

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Your buying me dinner doesn't mean I'll have sex with you. I probably will have sex with you, though. Honesty not an issue with opportunistic male, 38.

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HANDSOME RAKE – Out of work leaf raker/bagger seeks whimsical beauty with unkempt auburn orc hestnut hair, cool with coarse hands and a penchant for whistling. mellow… mo, 28, …

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My other car is a bike. Eco-friendly bio-diverse M (29). Smells a bit like soil and eats too much soup, but otherwise friendly (you're not seriously going to put that burger in your mouth, are you?).

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List your ten favourite albums… I just want to know if there's anything worth keeping when we finally break up. Practical, forward thinking man, 35.

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Not everyone appearing in this column is a deranged cross-dressing sociopath. Let me know if you find one and I'll strangle him with my bra. Man, 56.

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To some, I am a world of temptation. To others, I'm just another cross-dressing pharmacist. Male, 41.

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This ad may not be the best lonely heart in the world, nor its author the best-smelling. That's all I have to say. Man, 37.

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Slut in the kitchen, chef in the bedroom. Woman with mixed priorities (37) seeks man who can toss a good salad.

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Bald, fat, short, and ugly male, 53, seeks short-sighted woman with tremendous sexual appetite.

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Lustful? Sinful? Sexual? These are all words not used in conjunction with my feeble, limp form for at least 32 years. You are a woman to 40 with high class looks and low class mind. I am an ever growing vessel of limp wristed sexual energy just waiting to be shook. You may call me sir. box no. 32/02

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Blah blah, whatever. Indifferent woman. Go ahead and write. Box ### Like I care.

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I celebrated my fortieth birthday last week by cataloguing my collection of bird feeders. Next year I'm hoping for sexual intercourse. And a cake. Join my invite mailing list at box no. 6831. Man

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You're a brunette, 6', long legs, 25-30, intelligent, articulate and drop-dead gorgeous. I, on the other hand, am 4'10", have the looks of Herve Villechaize and carry an odor of wheat. No returns and no refunds at box…

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I'm just a girl who can't say 'no' (or 'anaesthetist') [sic]. Lisping Rodgers and Hammerstein fan, female lecturer in politics (37) WLTM man to 40 for thome enthanted eveningth.

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