Subject: Classifieds (Page 16)

Get 500 free minutes of airtime for only $50.

Classifieds

Free inside mini golf. Call ahead, because play is canceled if there is any funeral work. “We want folks to know we’re not so scary” we’re people. A funeral parlor is not a dark place, but a safe and secure one…

Classifieds

SEE WHAT HAPPENS, 22 yr old white male, 6’4”, 190 lbs, janitorial master, once cleaned 3 bathrooms in 20 minutes! Seeks 19 to 32 yr old female. Box 30940.

Classifieds

They call me Mr Boombastic. You can call me Monty. My real name, however, is Quentin. But only Mother uses that. And Nanny. Monty is fine, though. Anything but Peg Leg (Shrewsbury Prep, 1956, 'Please don't make me do cross-country, sir'). Box no. 0473.

Classifieds

PENIS ENLARGEMENT – Viagra & Testosterone – Dr. Joel Kaplan’s FDA Cleeard Medical Vaccuum Pumps. Gain 103 inches Safe and Permanent. Call… [sic]

Classifieds

HELP WANTED – Remedy Engineer

Classifieds

Nordic track $300 – hardly used – call Chubby.

Classifieds

Bring a friend, and each of you can receive a facial for the price of one facial.

Classifieds

Best Selection Ever of Name Brand Tennis Shoes – 10% off any pair bought and get 2nd pair at 10% off and then take 1/2 price of that shoe. Higher price charged for 1st pair. – Marting’s Shoes

Classifieds

The One Gallon Hip Flask…

Classifieds

Cat for Sale: This cat will eat anything and go to the bathroom anywhere too.

Classifieds

Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

Classifieds

COCKTAIL LOST in King St. area. Call 616-….

Classifieds

2009 Happy New Years Special – Be Fit! Be Strong! – Taekwondo classes… Cardio Dick Boxing classes…

Classifieds

Philanthropy is my middle name. It's just a name though so don't be expecting any free rides. You can call me Mr Wallace. My first name is none of your business. Applications to box no. 9741.

Classifieds

SPANISH TOOTER NEEDED FOR A 7 year old student, learn to speak and write fluently. Call after 6 pm. 467-….

Classifieds

SHEEP, 5, used $40 each. 425-….

Classifieds

FREE TO GOOD COUNTRY HOME – ¾ Rottweiler, ¼ Shepherd, 3 years old, female, spayed, very intelligent, loves to eat live rabbits and kittens, loves to play ball with kids. Call after 5:00 pm.. (614)…

Classifieds

Information – MENTALLY ILL NEEDED – To interview for Novel. Must be successful & interesting. Email: …@trsemail… (614) 537-….

Classifieds

Buy one restraining order, get one free!

Classifieds

WANTED. Hunting rifle, suitable for teenagers.

Classifieds