Subject: Classifieds (Page 17)

John Deere self propelled 22” lawn mower. “As new”. Bought for wife. Bad idea. Top of the line. Elec. Start, bagger etc. Paid nearly $600.00. Will sell for $400.00 for best…

Great Dames for sale.

MUST SELL: 3 Grave Spaces in Laureland, very reasonable. Plus air conditioner.

Philanthropy is my middle name. It's just a name though so don't be expecting any free rides. You can call me Mr Wallace. My first name is none of your business. Applications to box no. 9741.

FREE TO A GOOD HOME: Shemale Jack Russell Terrier, 14 mos., has shots, needs fenced yard. 619-445-….

Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

Mother’s helper – peasant working conditions.

This is the model home for your future. It was panned by Better Homes and Gardens.

Top Money Paid!! Are you willing to be prodded and probed in the orfice [sic] of our choice – all in the name of science?

Harrisburg Postal Employees Gun Club

Looking for 15 energetic individuals to replace 15 lazy people. Entry level positions. No exp req. Paid weekly. Call…

Theft: A woman in the 1900 block of 129th Lane Northeast reported Oct. 15 that someone must have stolen her mail, because she did not receive birthday cards from some of her friends.

MARCH MADNESS MOVE-IN DEAL! Move in by March 31st, pay no rent until April 1st!…

You’re all invited to Steak & Shrimp – Every Friday Night – 5:30 pm – 10 pm – Have Some Fun!! Bring A Gun!! Cash Can Be Won!! At Our Trap Range…

WANTED – COMMERCIAL SPACE HUNTER

If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachaise Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fontain, and Chopin.

ASSFAULT ROLLERS – (2) Gallion, $750/each…

My name was printed incorrectly below my letter in the December 30 issue of the Sevenoaks Chronicle. It should read L P Pook, not L P Hook. (signed) L P Hook – Sevenoaks Chronicle

HAMSTERS free. Call Allen’s Mom … HAMSTERS $1.00 each. Call Allen …

HANDSOME RAKE – Out of work leaf raker/bagger seeks whimsical beauty with unkempt auburn orc hestnut hair, cool with coarse hands and a penchant for whistling. mellow… mo, 28, …

Professional Texas Hold’em Polka Table, new, still in box. $250/best 508-916-….