Subject: Entertainment (Page 34)

The tuba is certainly the most intestinal of instruments – the very lower bowel of music.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist
Entertainment Music

I got wasted last night, and I hit an animal with my car… in the lobby of Caesar's Palace.

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor, director & author
Animals Entertainment Places

Nowadays, the perfect crime is getting caught and then selling your story to TV.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Conflict Crime Entertainment Television

You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Conflict Entertainment Sex Television

I can’t listen to that much Wagner… I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Conflict Entertainment Music Places War

Why am I so good at playing bitches? I think it's because I'm not a bitch; maybe that's why Miss Crawford always plays ladies.

(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater
Entertainment Film Insults

A primitive artist is an amateur whose work sells.

Anna Mary Robertson (1860 – 1961) American artist
Art Entertainment

The musician who invented Swing ought to.

Communication Entertainment Music

It's ill-becoming for an old broad to sing about how bad she wants it… but occasionally we do.

(1917 – 2010) American singer & actress
Entertainment People Sex Women

Last night, me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back… luckily, I was the one facing the telly.

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Entertainment Situations Television

I can’t watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.

(1961 – 1994) comedian
Entertainment Television

The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Age Entertainment Music Old People

Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses.

(1932 – 2011) British-American actress
Entertainment

If you can imagine a man having a vasectomy without anesthetic to the sound of frantic sitar playing, you will have some idea of what popular Turkish music is like.

American author
Entertainment Music Places

Dance like it hurts… love like you need money… work when people are watching.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Dance Emotions Entertainment Work

I got kicked out of Riverdance for using my arms.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Dance Entertainment

[Art is] the reasoned derangement of the senses.

(1905 – 1982) American poet, translator & critical essayist
Art Entertainment

An actor enters through a door, you've got nothing; but if he enters through a window, you've got a situation.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Entertainment Film

Lots of comedians have people they try to mimic… I mimic my shadow.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Entertainment

You might be a redneck if… an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Age Old People Television

Longfellow is to poetry what the barrel-organ is to music.

(1886 – 1963) literary critic, biographer & historian
Insults Music Reading/Writing