Subject: Epitaphs (Page 27)

Here richly, with ridiculous display, the politician’s corpse was laid away. While all of his acquaintance sneered and slanged, I wept: for I had longed to see him hanged.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Detlof Swenson, waiter. God finally caught his eye.

Epitaphs

Here lies the Body of Captain Tully. Aged an hundred and nine years fully. And threescore years before, as Mayor, the sword of this city he did bear. Nine of his wives do with him lie, so shall the tenth when she doth die.

Epitaphs

Accidentally shot as a mark of affection by his brother. After life's fever, I sleep well.

Epitaphs

This wasn’t my idea

Epitaphs

A traveller lies here at rest, who life's rough ocean tossed on. His many virtues all expressed, thus simply – “I'm from Boston.”

Epitaphs

Here lies John Higley whose father and mother were drowned in their passage from America. Had they both lived they would have been buried here.

Epitaphs

Here lies Lotta Dust.

Epitaphs

Let me out of here !!!

Epitaphs

A zealous locksmith died of late, and did not enter Heaven’s gate. But stood without and would not knock , because he meant to pick the lock.

Epitaphs

Here lies England's premier baron, – Patiently awaiting the last trump.

Epitaphs

I'll thank you not to put your butt on my grave.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of old Uncle David, who died in the hope of being saved. Where he's gone or how he fares, nobody knows and nobody cares.

Epitaphs

1890. The light of my Life has gone out. – 1891. I have struck another match.

Epitaphs

Here lies the bones of Eichard Lawton – Whose death alas I was strangely brought on. – Trying his corns one day to mow off. – His razor slipped and cut his toe off. – His toe or rather what it grew to, – An inflimation quickly flew to. – Which took alas to mortifying – And was the cause of Eichards dying.

Epitaphs

I was somebody. – Who, is no business – of yours.

Epitaphs

Robert Phillip, gravedigger: Here I lie at the Chancel door; Here lie I because I am poor; The farther in the more you pay; Here I lie as warm as they.

Epitaphs

I'm in on a plot.

Epitaphs

A thousand ways cut short our days, none are exempt from death. A honey-bee by stinging me did stop my mortal breath.

Epitaphs

John Le Mesurier wishes it to be know that he conked out on November 15th. He sadly misses family and friends.

(1912 – 1983) English actor
Epitaphs

I would – rather be here – than in Texas.

Epitaphs