Subject: Epitaphs (Page 28)

This world is a prison in every respect, whose walls are the heavens in common; the jailor is sin, and the prisoners men; and the fetters are nothing but women.

Epitaphs

Here lies Groucho Marx and Lies and Lies and Lies

Epitaphs

This stone was raised to Sarah Ford, not Sarah's virtues to record, for they're well known to all the town. No Lord; it was raised to keep her down.

Epitaphs

See how God works his wonders now and then, here lies a lawyer, and an honest man.

Epitaphs

The milk of human kindness was Vny own dear cherub wife – I'll never find another one as good in all my life. – She bloomed, she blossomed, she decayed. – And under this tree her body we laid.

Epitaphs

Office upstairs.

Epitaphs

I've finally stopped getting dumber.

Epitaphs

Here lies the bones of David Jones, Laid both dead and dumb. He read a law and plead a cause But died from drinking rum.

Epitaphs

This debt I owe is justly due, and I am come to sleep with you.

Epitaphs

Erected to the memory of John Macfarlane. Drowned in the waters of Leith – by a few affectionate friends.

Epitaphs

Here lies interred Priscilla Bird, who sang on earth till sixty two. Now up on high above the sky, no doubt she sings like sixty too.

Epitaphs

Here lies Salvino Armalo D'Armati of Florence, the inventor of spectacles. May God pardon his sins!

Epitaphs

The death angel struck Alexander McGlue and gave him protracted repose; he wore a checked shirt and a No. 9 shoe And had a pink wart on his nose. No doubt he is happy a-dwelling in space over on the evergreen shore. His friends are informed that his funeral takes place at precisely a quarter past four.

Epitaphs

A zealous locksmith died of late, and did not enter Heaven’s gate. But stood without and would not knock , because he meant to pick the lock.

Epitaphs

The body that lies buried here – By lightning fell, death's sacrifice, – To him Elijah's fate was given – He rode on flames of fire to heaven.

Epitaphs

My candle burns at both ends, – It will not last the night, – But Oh, my foes, – And Ah, my friends, – It gives a lovely light

Epitaphs

I Dionysius underneath this tomb – Some sixty years of age have reached my doom. – Ne'er having married, think it sad, – And I wish my father never had.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Molly Dickie, the Wife of Hall Dickie, tailor

Epitaphs

I've finally gotten to the bottom of things.

(1900 – 1978) American actress & novelist
Epitaphs

Beneath this stone, in hopes of Zion, doth lie the landlord of the lion; his son keeps on the business still, resigned unto the heavenly will.

Epitaphs

For a good time, dig.

Epitaphs