Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 15)

Oprah Winfrey has named her new $51 million estate ‘Tara 2,’ after Scarlett O’Hara’s plantation in Gone With The Wind; meanwhile, Sally Jessy Raphael has named her new estate Apartment 4B.

(1974 – ) American comedian, actor, producer & television host
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The fly in the ointment.

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The bell cow

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Couldn't run a bath!

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The damned thing works!

(1906 – 1971) American inventor & television pioneer
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Dead as 4 o’clock

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Don’t keep reaching for the stars because you’ll just look like an idiot stretching that way for no reason.

(1974 – ) American comedian, actor, producer & television host
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Why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor when you’re not supposed to drink and drive?

(1946 – ) American comedian
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One of the worst things you can do as an actor, I think, is to forget your lines, and then get so flustered you start stabbing the other actors.

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Like a two-forty trot

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The only hope of deciphering her invitations, someone said, was to pin them up on the wall and run past them!

(1907 – 1999) English publisher & editor
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You want to get three feet up a bull’s ass, just listen to the whisperings of sweethearts.

(1954 – 2008) British film director, playwright & screenwriter
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It was so good it would have brought tears to a glass eye.

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I had a survey done on my house; eight out of 10 people said they really rather liked it.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
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Steppin’ out

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One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don’t run with wooden stakes.

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He's tighter than a fiddle string

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Marryin’ an’ buryin’ hat

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He wouldn’t know his name if it won’t written in his shorts.

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You can put a porcupine in a wood chipper, but you will not make maple syrup.

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You might think that the favorite plant of the porcupine is the cactus, but it’s thinking like that that has almost ruined this country.

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