Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 22)

Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, we should be thinking about getting more use out of the ones we already have.

Miscellaneous

The difference between a man and a boy is, a boy wants to grow up to be a fireman, but a man wants to grow up to be a giant monster fireman.

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Well, I swanny…

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He looks like he got beat with a ugly stick.

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It makes me mad when I go to all the trouble of having Marta cook up about a hundred drumsticks, then the guy at Marine Land says, "You can't throw that chicken to the dolphins. They eat fish."
Sure they eat fish if that's all you give them! Man, wise up.

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For every credibility gap, there is a gullibility fill.

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Here’s a tip: if you ever decide to take apart a bird’s nest, to see how it’s made, first make sure it’s not somebody’s basket they got in South America.

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Like a buzzard roosted in it

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I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because then, Yahoo!, I’d have all my money back.

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I think they should continue the policy of not giving a Nobel Prize for paneling.

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If you lie down with dogs, you’ll get up with fleas.

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It's not easy to cut through a human head with a hacksaw.

(1942 – 2008) American author, producer, director & screenwriter
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He's as happy as if he had good sense.

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So dry he had the rattles

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The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it’s just sort of a tired feeling.

(1959 – ) American comedian
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He’s a good ol’ dog, but sometimes he sh*ts to close to the porch.

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A trace of the uppity

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I'd rather pay his board than board him.

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You Done The Wrong Woman Wrong

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A face like a well slapped ass.

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I hope she lives to a 150 and looks it.

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