Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 27)

She’s about a half a bubble off plumb.

Miscellaneous

The engine's runnin' but ain't nobody driving.

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I’m as confused as a termite in a yo-yo.

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Sure as a cat has a climbing gear

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Well, if that don’t put pepper in the gumbo!

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I’ll turn him inside out and scrape him.

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He’s playing possum.

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That's the Irish people all over – they treat a joke as a serious thing, and a serious thing as a joke.

(1880 – 1964) Irish dramatist
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He/she looked like death eating a cracker.

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Sweet talkin’ thing

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The worst misfortune that can happen to an ordinary man is to have an extraordinary father.

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The old pool shooter had won many a game in his life. But now it was time to hang up the cue. When he did, all the other cues came crashing go the floor. Sorry, he said with a smile.

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One thing a computer can do that most humans can’t is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse.

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The closest a person ever comes to perfection is when he fills out a job application form.

Businessman
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Sweatin’ like a $2 whore in church

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Braggin’ dog

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He gets Tuesday’s paper on Friday.

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Any man, in the right situation, is capable of murder, but not any man is capable of being a good camper… so, murder and camping are not as similar as you might think.

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Peter Marshall: Dale Evans recently revealed the three secrets behind her happy marriage with Roy Rogers. Now listen carefully… "We work together, we pray together and we're darn good…" What?

Paul Lynde: In the saddle.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
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It's like trying to nail Jell-O® to a wall.

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Happiness walks on busy feet.

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