Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 27)

He’s just loudin’ off.

Miscellaneous

You look like you were pulled through a knothole backwards.

Miscellaneous

If you’re an ant, and you’re walking along across the top of a cup of pudding, you probably have no idea that the only thing between you and disaster is the strength of that pudding skin.

Miscellaneous

Well, that just frosts my ankles!

Miscellaneous

Our humility is what makes us great.

(1937 – 2014) American co-host of radio show “Car Talk”
Miscellaneous

If Jesus had known that his image would end up on Justin Bieber’s calf, he would’ve never started Christianity.

(1974 – ) American comedian
Miscellaneous

Don’t jus’ stand there with yer fanger in yer mouth!

Miscellaneous

Peter Marshall: Rich, what land animal has the largest eyes?

Rich Little: [doing his impersonation of her] Why, that would be Carol Channing!

(1938 – ) Canadian-American impressionist & voice actor
Miscellaneous

Stick with me and you'll be wearing silk underwear.

Miscellaneous

I ain’t tellin’ ya how the cow ate the cabbage.

Miscellaneous

You plant a tater, you get a tater.

Miscellaneous

Most of the time it was probably real bad being stuck down in a dungeon; but some days, when there was a bad storm outside, you’d look out your little window and think, ‘Boy, I’m glad I’m not out in THAT.’

Miscellaneous

I sold my house this week… I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Miscellaneous Things

That coffee's strong enough to float an iron spoon.

Miscellaneous

As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party

Miscellaneous

Bigger’n Dallas

Miscellaneous

Intercourse,  Pennsylvania

Miscellaneous

Once I beat up the school bully with a baseball bat; both his arms were completely broken, which is what gave me the courage to do it.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Miscellaneous

It’s so good, it makes you want to slap your momma!

Miscellaneous

If wishes were horses… beggars would ride.

Miscellaneous

He’s so slippery he’d hold his own in a pond full of eels.

Miscellaneous