Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 34)

Uglier than a mud fence

Miscellaneous

If you make ships in a bottle, I bet the thing that really makes your heart sink is when you look in, and there at the wheel is Captain Termite.

Miscellaneous

I’m as anxious as a one-eyed cat watching two rat holes.

Miscellaneous

Quit bein’ ugly.

Miscellaneous

Dumber than a stump

Miscellaneous

Everybody’s in the same pew

Miscellaneous

To get clear water, go to the head of the branch.

Miscellaneous

You couldn’t catch a catfish in a coffee cup.

Miscellaneous

Drunk as Cooter Brown

Miscellaneous

My poor fellow, why not carry a watch.

(1852 – 1917) English actor & theater manager
Miscellaneous

You're diggin’ your own grave.

Miscellaneous

Well, shut my mouth.

Miscellaneous

Long as a month of Sundays.

Miscellaneous

People will be able to see to Christmas.

Miscellaneous

It's cold enough to hang meat in here.

Miscellaneous

I wish the first word I ever said was the word “quote,” so right before I die I could say “unquote.”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Miscellaneous

Normal,  Illinois

Miscellaneous

Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, ‘My name is Peter and I am an alcoholic’?

(1973 – ) English comedian, writer, actor, director & producer
Miscellaneous

Meaner 'n a rattlesnake.

Miscellaneous

You don’t have to have a long neck to be a goose.

Miscellaneous

In a coon's age.

Miscellaneous