Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 35)

Speed Limit Enforced by Sniper

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Lying like a snake in the grass.

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He thinks the sun come up just to hear him crow.

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I'm gonna put knots on yor head faster than you can rub them.

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I didn’t just fall off a turnip truck.

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He’s as poor as Job’s turkey.

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I’m as busy as a one-armed barber with hives.

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Ain’t got both oars in the water

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He has more information than a Sears Roebuck catalog.

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I could eat the horse and chase the jockey.

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Slow as Christmas

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They from off.

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A kiss is like a fight, with mouths.

(1978 – ) American actress, writer & comedian
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He's only got one oar in the water.

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Oral Sadism And The Vegetarian Personality

,
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Here’s a good joke to do during an earthquake: Straddle a big crack in the ground, and if it opens wider, go “Whoa! Whoa!” and flail your arms around, like you’re going to fall in.

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The bell cow

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I'll walk to town on that lip!

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We’ve had to get a live-in nanny, ‘cos that dead one wasn’t working out.

(1968 – ) English comedian & actor
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Well, butter my biscuit.

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Always… no wait… never…

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
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