Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 37)

I do not see why I should break my neck because a dog chooses to run after a nasty smell.

(1848 – 1930) British Conservative politician & statesman
Miscellaneous

Always… no wait… never…

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Miscellaneous

Any man, in the right situation, is capable of murder, but not any man is capable of being a good camper… so, murder and camping are not as similar as you might think.

Miscellaneous

He looks like the dog's been keepin' him under the porch.

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Too slow to keep worms in a tin.

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If you can't hang with the big dawgs, get off the porch!

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Instead of having “answers” on a math test, they should just call them “impressions,” and if you got a different “impression,” so what, can’t we all be brothers?

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He wants the earth and the moon with two strands of bob wire around it – and it white washed.

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For the record, folks; I never took a shit on stage and the closest I ever came to eating shit anywhere was at a Holiday Inn buffet in Fayetteville, North Carolina.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Miscellaneous

As you will no doubt have foreseen…

(1946 – ) English media executive & newspaper editor
Miscellaneous

She’s totin’ the high leg.

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I’ll tie a knot in yer tail

Miscellaneous

If all the world is a stage, and all the men and women merely players, where do all the audiences come from?

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter
Entertainment Miscellaneous

Don’t pay it no never mind.

Miscellaneous

What if nothing exists and we’re all in somebody’s dream? .. or what'’s worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Miscellaneous

He wouldn't go to a funeral unless he could be the corpse.

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If that boy was any smarter we’d have to water him every week.

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Looks like he’s been chewin’ tobacco and spittin’ in the wind.

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I have to laugh when I think of the first cigar, because it was probably just a bunch of rolled-up tobacco leaves.

Miscellaneous

What are they planting to grow the seedless watermelon?

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Miscellaneous

Rarely has the phrase "going through the motions" felt more fitting.

writer, editor & film reviewer
Miscellaneous