Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 37)

Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your backside?

(1973 – ) English comedian, writer, actor, director & producer
Miscellaneous

Makes no never mind.

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They say the mountain holds many secrets, but the biggest is this: “I am a fake mountain.”

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I bet it’s hard to break farmers of the old superstitions like “Tornado got Old Yeller, stay in the cellar.”

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Whenever you read a good book, it’s like the author is right there, in the room talking to you, which is why I don’t like to read good books.

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A guilty dog barks the loudest.

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Narrow between the eyes.

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Don’t keep reaching for the stars because you’ll just look like an idiot stretching that way for no reason.

(1974 – ) American comedian, actor, producer & television host
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Well, shoot me for a billygoat.

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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the f**k is the ceiling.

(1972 – ) Ghanaian-born actor & comedian
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As scarce as hens teeth.

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Better an empty house than an unwelcomed guest.

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To become a knife thrower in the circus, they probably don’t let you start off throwing at a live woman; they start you out with a little girl.

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That gal is gonna drop him like a hot rock.

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Warning to all outer-space guys: you can capture me and put me in your “space zoo” if you like, but I will sit way in the back of my cage, where it’s hard to see me; and when I do come out, I won’t be wearing any pants.

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We live by the Golden Rule: those who have the gold make the rules.

(1914 –2008) American baseball executive
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If you go flying back through time, and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it’s probably best to avoid eye contact.

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She’s possum ugly.

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I'm so hungry, my stomach is gnawing on my backbone!

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Hornier than a two pecker'd billy goat on a hill full of ninnies.

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He’s as poor as Job’s turkey.

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