Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 41)

I'll walk to town on that lip!

Miscellaneous

I was sad, because I had no shoes, until I met a man that had no feet; so, I took his shoes, cuz hey, he wan’t using them!

Miscellaneous

As tall as a Georgia pine

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If that ain't right then grits ain't groceries.

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Fortune for reading only. Do not eat.

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He couldn't pull the skin off a custard.

Miscellaneous

Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, ‘My name is Peter and I am an alcoholic’?

(1973 – ) English comedian, writer, actor, director & producer
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He ran like his feet were on fire and his ass was catchin'.

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Them that don’t work, don’t eat.

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She can burn water.

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One way I think you can tell if you have a curse on you is if you open a box of toothpicks and they all fly up and stick in your face.

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The overhead projector has done more to destroy learning than any other thing I can think of.

(1937 – 2014) American co-host of radio show “Car Talk”
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He’s so tight when he blinks his eyes his toe’s curl up.

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A face like a boiled fist

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Her butt is as wide as a corn picker.

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It’s so good, it makes you want to slap your momma!

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If Alien was my friend, I'd like to be with him when he went to the dentist. When they started drilling, he'd probably go nuts and start eating everybody. That Alien!

Miscellaneous

Where are all the Sour Patch parents?

American comedian
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To “love on you”

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I’m The Urban Spaceman

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Flat as a fritter.

Miscellaneous