Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 46)

Mom always told me I could be whatever I wanted to be when I grew up, within reason; when I asked her what she meant by within reason, she said that I ask a lot of questions for a garbage man.

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Happy as a clam at high tide

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Prettier than a spotted heifer in a pansy patch!

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Sunday-go-to-meeting clothes

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I feel like the underside of a turnip green.

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Tricky, isn’t it, if you’re both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.

(1964 – ) English comedian
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That was faster than green grass through a goose.

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I'm gonna put knots on yor head faster than you can rub them.

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Girl, you look so good I could take you home and sop you up with a biscuit.

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I haven't seen you since Hector was a pup.

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As you will no doubt have foreseen…

(1946 – ) English media executive & newspaper editor
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I never made a mistake in my life… I thought I did once, but I was wrong.

cartoon character in, Peanuts, by Charles Schulz (1922 – 2000)
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Took off like Moody's goose

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Took the preachers seat

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You’ll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.

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Medicine makes people ill, mathematics make them sad, and theology makes them sinful.”

(1483 – 1546) German monk, Catholic priest & professor of theology
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Peter Marshall: Helen Gurley Brown recently said of Henry Kissinger, "His most outstanding endearing quality is his ability to make someone feel…" Feel what?

Jan Murray: His thighs.

(1916 - 2006) American stand-up comedian, actor & game show host
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There was probably an old Viking saying that said, “Ax in the head, early to bed; ax in the helmet, a friend of Helmut.”

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If you can't hang with the big dawgs, get off the porch!

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My Granpappy Don’ Smoke No Grass

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Where you stay?

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