Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 48)

Why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor when you’re not supposed to drink and drive?

(1946 – ) American comedian
Miscellaneous

You ain’t worth a plug nickel.

Miscellaneous

One-third sap and two-thirds Eleanor.

(1884 – 1980) author & wit
Miscellaneous

Stomping grounds

Miscellaneous

Don't worry 'bout the mule son, just load the wagon.

Miscellaneous

I feel lower than a snake in snowshoes.

Miscellaneous

Practical Demonkeeping


Miscellaneous

A guilty dog barks the loudest.

Miscellaneous

“The prisoner escaped down a rope,” said Tom condescendingly.

Miscellaneous

Count the people.

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I’ve got an accountant who’s been with me forty years; if he makes a mistake, he dies.

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Miscellaneous

Finer than frog's hair

Miscellaneous

They say the mountain holds many secrets, but the biggest is this: “I am a fake mountain.”

Miscellaneous

Ain’t got both oars in the water

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Warning to all outer-space guys: you can capture me and put me in your space zoo if you like, but I will sit way in the back of my cage, where it’s hard to see me… and when I do come out, I won’t be wearing any pants.

Miscellaneous

She is so smart, even her teachers play chess with her.

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It’s raining cats and dogs.

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He couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket.

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A rooster one day, a feather duster the next.

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Lost as a goose in a snowstorm

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Fortune for reading only. Do not eat.

Miscellaneous