Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 48)

I hope I never do anything to bring shame on myself, my family or my other family.

Miscellaneous

It's hotter than a pair of jumper cables at at redneck picnic.

Miscellaneous

When you die, if you go somewhere where they ask you a bunch of questions about your life and what you learned and all, I think a good way to get out of it is just to say, ‘No speaka English.”

Miscellaneous

Another horse been in his barn

Miscellaneous

Never try to keep up with the Joneses; drag them down to your level… it’s cheaper that way.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Miscellaneous

The Atlanta Hawks are a bunch of guys who would prefer to pass kidney stones than pass a basketball.

American basketball coach
Miscellaneous

I hope she lives to a 150 and looks it.

Miscellaneous

Right as rain.

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He looks like something the cat drug in and the dog wouldn't eat.

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Every dog should have a few fleas.

Miscellaneous

Happy as a pig in Palestine.

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I think they should continue the policy of not giving a Nobel Prize for paneling.

Miscellaneous

He just sits there like a bump on a log.

Miscellaneous

It's as cold as all git out!

Miscellaneous

I'm gonna peck a knot on your head!

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Like what God gave a billy goat

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He’s so tight you could shove a quarter up his ass and he’d grind it into a dime.

Miscellaneous

If you were an ancient barbarian, I bet a real embarrassing thing would be if you were sacking Rome and your cape got caught on something and you couldn’t get it unhooked, and you had to ask another barbarian to unhook it for you.

Miscellaneous

Caught with your pants down.

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Just because a chicken has wings doesn't mean it can fly.

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You're diggin’ your own grave.

Miscellaneous