Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 54)

Don't go back on your raisin'

Miscellaneous

You better get left because you ain't right.

Miscellaneous

The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Miscellaneous

I’d rather have a broke back in hell.

Miscellaneous

Gridlock Christmas

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If I tell you a duck can pull a truck, shut up an hook it up.

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Cooler than a flip side of a down pillow.

Miscellaneous

We didn't plan to take 'em to raise.

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It’s raining pitchforks and plowhandles.

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She’s cuter than a bug’s ear.

Miscellaneous

If I was the head of a country that lost a war, and I had to sign a peace treaty, just as I was signing I’d glance over the treaty and then suddenly act surprised… “Wait a minute! I thought WE won!”

Miscellaneous

This ain't my first rodeo.

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It’s fascinating to think that all around us there’s an invisible world we can’t even see. I’m speaking, of course, of the world of the Invisible Scary Skeletons.

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It's come a cloud.

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Spring chicken

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Where are all the Sour Patch parents?

American comedian
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He looks like he stepped out of a bandbox.

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Ladies, I wasn't circumcised, I was circumnavigated.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
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My hind foot!

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The Atlanta Hawks are a bunch of guys who would prefer to pass kidney stones than pass a basketball.

American basketball coach
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I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.

Miscellaneous