Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 57)

Drunk as Cooter Brown

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Queen Of My Double-Wide Trailer

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This likker is just right; if it’d been any worse, I couldn’t have drunk it; if it’d been any better, you wouldn’t have give it to me.

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I had a survey done on my house; eight out of 10 people said they really rather liked it.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
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“Mash” the gas

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Born short and slapped down flat

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California Mayor Curbs Self Over Dog Poop Incident

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In some countries, what I did would be considered polite, especially Fartland.

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Rest your coat.

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If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that’s all I have to say.

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I went to the barber and got my ears lowered.

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I bet it’s hard to break farmers of the old superstitions like “Tornado got Old Yeller, stay in the cellar.”

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Livin’ high on the hawg.

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He couldn't pull the skin off a custard.

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The face of a child can say it all… especially the mouth part of the face.

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If you had a brain you'd play with it.

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The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it’s just sort of a tired feeling.

(1959 – ) American comedian
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If you can paint a really good picture of a cow, you don’t have to write the word “cow” under it.

(1896 – 1985) U.S. senator (North Carolina)
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As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party

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You’re like the dog that caught the car.

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Didn’t lick it off a stone

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