Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 62)

A face like a well slapped ass.

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Like three feet up a bull’s ass

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Church was a reminder there was something worse than school.

(1946 – ) American comedian
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Farmin’ in the woods

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When a dog bites a man that is not news, but when a man bites a dog that is news.

(1819 – 1897) American journalist, author & senior government official
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Happiness walks on busy feet.

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Practical Demonkeeping


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“This steering wheel really is stuck”, Tom maintained unswervingly.

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He just sits there like a bump on a log.

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The fool’s so lost he don’t know if he’s afoot or on horseback.

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Don’t ever get your speedometer confused with your clock, like I did once, because the faster you go, the later you think you are.

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She’s so poor she ain’t got two nickels to rub together.

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Bobby Wheeler: We were wondering if you would join us for a few minutes?

Jim: Well, what did you decide?

(1938 – ) American actor
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She could make a preacher cuss!

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She could eat watermelon through a chicken wire fence.

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Well I’ll be John Brown.

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Instead of a bicycle built for two, what about no kinds of bicycles at all for anybody, anymore?… there, are you happy now?

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If I ever become a mummy, I’m going to have it so when somebody opens my lid, a boxing glove on a spring shoots out.

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She could talk the leg off a horse.

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Like a peach-orchard bull

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I never made a mistake in my life… I thought I did once, but I was wrong.

cartoon character in, Peanuts, by Charles Schulz (1922 – 2000)
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