Subject: Places » America (Page 8)

In America, we won't let somebody who's terminally ill have the right to take their own life… but yet, we'll let Evel Knievel jump over the Grand Canyon with a damn moped.

American stand-up comedian
America Places

Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel from coast to coast without seeing anything.

(1934 – 1997) journalist
Activities America Autos Places Travel

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic.

(1931 – ) television newscaster
America Autos People

If this country was a person it would be a used car salesman with a flamethrower. – America

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
America Places

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
America Golf Government People Sports Taxes

We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
America Health Places

We would need less gun control is we had better birth control.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
America Places

When the American people get through with the English language, it will look as if it had been run over by a musical comedy.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
America Communication Language Places

I believe that Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was… an Arctic region covered with ice.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
America Places

In America any boy may become President and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
America People President Success

America: Twenty million illegal aliens can’t be wrong!”

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
America Places

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
America Places

In America there are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Activities America Places Travel

I dropped out of West Point to become a comedian… probably the greatest service I will ever do for my country.

(1955 – ) American comedian
America Entertainment Places

When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show; if you're born in America you get a front row seat.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
America Places

… as American as English muffins and French toast.

(1935 – ) English critic & author
America Places

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
America Places Science/Weather

The town had the coldest temperature in all the contagious states.

America Malaprops Places

I have a map of the United States… actual size.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
America Places Things