Subject: Reviews/Criticism (Page 9)

Just three of the least-likable actors in Hollywood paired up with three total has-beens in an over-long, convoluted rehash of every “I hate my boss” plotline that you've ever seen. Except all of the funny ones. 

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Reviews/Criticism

Steve Guttenberg and a friendship between a dog and a dolphin – in what fiery pit of hell was this heartwarming plot conjured?

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Reviews/Criticism

If you want to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Hollywood is a cesspool of whoredom and back-door deal-making, just look at the credits of the writers responsible for this monstrous piece of crap.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism

Psst! DreamWorks! Your Nemo envy is showing!

writer, editor & film reviewer
Reviews/Criticism

It's like watching the travel video of the most annoying guy you know.

film reviewer
Reviews/Criticism

No, Cameron! Not another musical interlude! Please, I’ll be good!

writer, editor & film reviewer
Reviews/Criticism

Watching [Nicolas] Cage karate chop Leelee “Made-for-TV” Sobiesky into submission is almost worth the price of admission. Well, assuming admission was free.

editor, director, performer, & film reviewer
Reviews/Criticism

It’s disposable fun. Check your brain at the door on the way in. Drop all memory of the movie on your way out.

film critic
Reviews/Criticism

[Raymond] Massey won’t be satisfied until he’s assassinated.

(1889 – 1961) Am. playwright, theater director & producer & humorist
Reviews/Criticism

He decided to make it [Daisy Miller] exactly as it stood; he crammed James’s words into Cybill’s mouth like fish into a letterbox.

(1931 – ) American-born, British screenwriter, novelist & journalist
Reviews/Criticism

It's Melanie Griffith's best role yet… which is like saying the morphine shots are the best part about having first-degree burns over 80 percent of your body.

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Reviews/Criticism

Shakespeare in the mud.

American television critic
Reviews/Criticism

This poem will not reach its destination.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Reviews/Criticism

It’s truly rare that you see this level of insightful childhood psychoanalysis in a film about a basketball-playing dog.

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Reviews/Criticism

Watching Tallulah Bankhead on the stage is like watching somebody skating on thin ice – everyone wants to be there when it breaks.

(1865-1940) English actress
Acting Reviews/Criticism

According to Hollywood logic, none of the actual Titanic passengers was interesting enough, so the writer-director had to invent a Romeo and Juliet-style fictional couple to heat up the catastrophe. This seems a tiny bit like giving Anne Frank a wacky best friend, to perk up that attic.

(Paul Rudnick) (1957 – ) Satiric film critic & author
Reviews/Criticism

My poor brain hung in there for as long as it could, but it lost its grip during the giant chicken attack and I haven’t seen it since.

writer, editor & film reviewer
Reviews/Criticism

It’s difficult to know what’s going on, and even harder to care.

British broadcaster, writer & film critic
Reviews/Criticism

Like watching an affair between a mad rocking-horse and a rawhide suitcase.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Reviews/Criticism

The results are more akin to a high school production of Pearl Harbor.

American film critic
Reviews/Criticism

This film has all the energy of a rotting corpse.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Reviews/Criticism