Subject: Sports » Football (Page 11)

Remember: Super Bowl is the biggest day of the year for pizza delivery… so no matter what happens in the game, Peyton Manning wins.

(1974 – ) American comedian & impressionist

I don’t know. I only played there for nine years.

American football player

We were tipping off our plays; whenever we broke from the huddle, three backs were laughing and one was as pale as a ghost.

professional football executive

An atheist is a man who watches a Notre Dame – Southern Methodist University game and doesn’t care who wins.

(1890 – 1969) 34th U.S. president, U.S. Army General

The problem with having a sense of humor is often that people you use it on aren't in a very good mood.

(1937 – ) football coach, sportscaster, author & speaker

He treats us like men; he lets us wear earrings.

college football player

Trade him for a six pack — it doesn't even have to be cold.

Philadelphia Eagles coach

Notre Dame is the only team in the country that never plays a road game.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator

What’s the toughest thing in a professional football game? … Its being the mother of the quarterback.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer

We’ve broken down the expansion teams and they’ve averaged winning 2.7 games their first year, which to me is rather difficult. I figured out the 2, but the .7 has got me wondering what the hell is going on.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach

Place-kickers aren't footballers, they're hired feet.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator

It' a once-in-a-lifetime thing that only happens every so often.

American football player

Vicodin and vodka — the breakfast of champions.

(1918 – 1990) football coach

I've found that prayers work best when you have big players.

(1888 – 1931) American football player & coach

I just wrap my arms around the whole backfield and peel 'em off one by one until I get to the ball carrier… him I keep.

professional football player

You want a messenger boy, call Western Union.

American football player

I like to believe that my best hits border on felonious assault.

American football player

Here’s a guy who when he runs, he moves faster.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer

George Halas throws nickels around like man hole covers.

(1939 – ) American football player & coach

He runs like a camel… a really pissed off camel.

(1925 – ) American professional football player

There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you.

college football coach