Quotes and One Liners

humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more

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Subject: Sports » Football (Page 13)

On this team, we are all united in a common goal: to keep my job.

Lou Holtz

(1937 – ) football coach, sportscaster, author & speaker

Football Sports Coaching Common goals

I play football… I’m not trying to be a professor; the tests don’t seem to make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff I haven’t been through in school.

Ray Forsythe

Clemson football recruit

Football Misspokements Sports After being declared ineligible as a freshman because of academic requirements

Well the frog men finally got Rosie.

Art Donovan

(1925 – ) American professional football player

Football Informing player Gino Marchetti of the mysterious drowning death of owner Carroll Rosenblum

Playing football in the morning is like eating cabbage for breakfast.

Pressbox maxim

Football Sports

I'm gonna ask the Falcons for so much money they'll have to put me on layaway.

Randy Moss

American football player

Football Money Sports Contracts

What's the difference between a three-week-old puppy and a sportswriter? … In six weeks, the puppy stops whining.

Mike Ditka

(1939 – ) American football player & coach

Football Sports Sportswriters

It is committee meetings, called huddles, separated by outburst of violence.

George Will

(1941 – ) columnist, commentator & editor

Football Sports Committee meetings

If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score?

Vince Lombardi

(1913 – 1970) football coach

Football Sports Winning

He is not in a union; he can carry the ball as many times as we want him to… anyway, the ball doesn't weigh that much.

John McKay

(1923 – 2001) American football coach

Football Sports On O.J. Simpson carrying the ball 47 times in a USC

Intensity is a lot of guys that run fast.

John McKay

(1923 – 2001) American football coach

Football Sports Intensity

American football makes rugby look like a Tupperware party.

Sue Lawley

(1946 – ) English broadcaster

Football Sports Rugby

While letting Plano East roll up 365 yards of offense, North Garland only prevented a bigger route [sic] by pouncing on the six turnovers.

Keith Whitmire

newspaper reporter

Football Misspokements Sports

 If you're a coach, NFL stands for "Not For Long."

Jerry Glanville

professional football & TV commentator

Football Occupations Sports Coaching