Football | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Sports » Football (Page 8)

The 49ers were so badly flattened that they didn't fly back to San Francisco, they were faxed.

Scott Ostler

American sports columnist

Football Sports Defeat On a 1993 football playoff loss

Speed, strength and the inability to register pain immediately.

Reggie Williams

American football player

Football Sports On his greatest strength as a football player

If God wanted football played in the spring, he would not have invented baseball.

Sam Rutigliano

football coach

Football Sports On the USFL’s spring schedule

Football is all very well a good game for rough girls, but not for delicate boys.

Oscar Wilde

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

Football Sports

We'll have an offensive team and a defensive team, and the other team will be in charge of carrying me off the field.

John McKay

(1923 – 2001) American football coach

Football Sports On playing a game with only a small number of players

Here’s a guy who can use his arms and legs at the same time.

John Madden

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer

Football Misspokements Sports

There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you.

Woody Hayes

college football coach

Football Sports Losing

He runs like a camel… a really pissed off camel.

Art Donovan

(1925 – ) American professional football player

Football Sports On quarterback Johnny Unitas

If you see a defense team with dirt and mud on their backs they’ve had a bad day.

John Madden

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer

Football Misspokements Sports

God invented football so grown men would have something to do between wars.

Dan Jenkins

(1929 – ) American author & sportswriter

Conflict Football Sports War

I like to believe that my best hits border on felonious assault.

Jack Tatum

American football player

Football Sports

People say I'll be drafted in the first round, maybe even higher.

Craig ‘Ironhead’ Heyward

American football player

Football Sports

The place was so empty, they could have had archery practice.

Bill Parcells

American football coach

Football Sports On a small crowd at a game

I try to play golf at least once a day.

Darrell Royal

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach

Football Golf Sports On his responsibilities as a special assistant to the president of the University of Texas

Detroit’s so bad this year they might lose their bye week.

Dennis Miller

(1953 – ) comedian, political commentator and television & radio personality

Football Sports Detroit Lions Losing

Because if it doesn't work out, I don't want to blow the whole day.

Paul Hornung

American football player

Football Marriage Sports On why he was getting married at 11 a.m.

We are not going to be any three-clouds-and-a-yard-of-dust team.

Bill Peterson

football coach

Football Misspokements Sports (three yards and a cloud of dust)

I’m really happy for Coach Cooper and the guys who’ve been around here for six or seven years, especially our seniors.

Bob Hoying

college football player

Football Misspokements Sports After winning a Big Ten title

It’s weird… people say they’re not like apes, but how do you explain football then?

Mitch Hedberg

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

Animals Football Sports Apes

If I didn’t enjoy gloating so much, I wouldn’t do so many interviews.

Jimmy Johnson

American football coach

Football Sports

If you can’t make the putts and can’t get the man in from second on the bottom of the ninth, you’re not going to win enough football games in this league, and that’s the problem we had today.

Sam Rutigliano

football coach

Football Misspokements Sports On why his team lost

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Subject: Sports » Football (Page 8)

The 49ers were so badly flattened that they didn't fly back to San Francisco, they were faxed.

Speed, strength and the inability to register pain immediately.

If God wanted football played in the spring, he would not have invented baseball.

Football is all very well a good game for rough girls, but not for delicate boys.

We'll have an offensive team and a defensive team, and the other team will be in charge of carrying me off the field.

Here’s a guy who can use his arms and legs at the same time.

There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you.

He runs like a camel… a really pissed off camel.

If you see a defense team with dirt and mud on their backs they’ve had a bad day.

God invented football so grown men would have something to do between wars.

I like to believe that my best hits border on felonious assault.

People say I'll be drafted in the first round, maybe even higher.

The place was so empty, they could have had archery practice.

I try to play golf at least once a day.

Detroit’s so bad this year they might lose their bye week.

Because if it doesn't work out, I don't want to blow the whole day.

We are not going to be any three-clouds-and-a-yard-of-dust team.

I’m really happy for Coach Cooper and the guys who’ve been around here for six or seven years, especially our seniors.

It’s weird… people say they’re not like apes, but how do you explain football then?

If I didn’t enjoy gloating so much, I wouldn’t do so many interviews.

If you can’t make the putts and can’t get the man in from second on the bottom of the ninth, you’re not going to win enough football games in this league, and that’s the problem we had today.