Subject: Sports (Page 123)

For one brief moment today I thought I was winning in the game of life… but there was a flag on the play!

cartoon character, Peanuts, Charles Schulz (1922 – 2000) cartoonist
Life Problems Sports

They wanted to buy out my contract, but I couldn’t make change for a $20, so they had to let me stay

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Sports

If Marc Bulger throws an interception in Sun Devil Stadium and nobody is there to see it, is it still an interception?

American sports writer
Football Sports

Remember the rules to dodgeball? … If you're fat or have glasses, don’t show up because you’ll die.

(1970 – ) American actor, producer & stand up comedian
Sports

Speed has never killed anyone – suddenly becoming stationary… that’s what gets you.

English broadcaster, journalist & writer
Auto racing Sports

That's the fastest time ever run – but it's not as fast as the world record.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

Those are the only balls you've touched all day!

Stephen Gascoigne (1878 – 1942) Australian sports fan & heckler
Sports

Why should I smile? They’d be throwing things at me if I lost.

English jockey
Sports

The lights are shining quite darkly.

cricket commentator
Misspokements Sports

All of the Mets' road wins against Los Angeles this year have been at Dodger Stadium.

(1922 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

I'll beat him so bad he'll need a shoehorn to put his hat on.

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

A golf swing is a collection of corrected mistakes.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

My purpose in life was to run 100%. Maybe it cost me some races, but nobody ever hired me to ride.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

It looks like a stickup at 7-Eleven. Five guys standing there with their hands in the air.


Basketball Sports

The biggest liar in the world is the golfer who claims that he plays the game merely for exercise.

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Beliefs Golf Honesty Lies Sports

Sugar Ray Leonard's retirements last about as long as Elizabeth Taylor's marriages.

professional boxing promoter
Boxing Sports

One time, I got pulled over at four a.m.; I was fined seventy-five dollars for being intoxicated and four-hundred for being with the Phillies.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Driving Sports

The way defenses are operating these days, the other team starts picking you up when you walk out of the hotel lobby.

American college basketball coach
Basketball Sports

I used to think the only use for it [sport] was to give small boys something else to kick besides me.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
Sports

If you’d offered me a 69 at the start this morning I’d have been all over you.

Scottish professional golfer
Golf Misspokements Sports

Why should I feel sorry for Ali? He got two and a half-million dollars for being beaten up. Most of us in this city have to pay for the privilege.

Boxing Sports