Author: Classified ad Page 5

These items may or may not be available at all times, and sometimes not at all and other times all the time.

Can’t move or speak? It may be a STROKE. No one is too young. Time lost is brain lost. CALL 911

Want to Buy • City council candidate. Would like to rent or buy a bullet proof vest for 10 months. 384-….

Read Weight in the Palm of Your Hand! … No More Bending Over or Looking Down!

Wednesday, September 21 – Ball-A-Palooza! 5000 golf balls will be dropped from a helicopter for a chance to win great prizes. Sponsored by the N.E.W. Curative Rehabilitation, Inc. with all proceeds going directly into the Brain Injury Program…

For Adoption: 2 female Chihuahua, both crate trained. Also 1 male Old English sheep dog, w/2 glass eyes. Good guard dog. Adoption fee $50 to $100. For more information call…

Looking for a small “13 inch” male registered Beagle to breed with our little girl. Call 862-….

Christmas Sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to- find person.

“The only difference between tattooed and untattooed people is that tattooed people are way more cool and can kick you ass.”

Nice Parachute – Never opened. Used once.

SPANISH TOOTER NEEDED FOR A 7 year old student, learn to speak and write fluently. Call after 6 pm. 467-….

CLASSIFIED: An unexpected vacancy for a knife-thrower's assistant. Rehearsals start immediately.

92’ BLK VOLKSWAGON CABRIOLET Answers to the name April. Last seen in Towson near the YMCA. Yes, Owner is Blonde. If found please call Button…

How to Speak and Write Like A Colleg [sic] Graduate

Righteous Kill – Pacino & Deniro play veteran cops on the trail of a cereal killer…

A story that appeared ion Sunday’s Argus Observer contained a incorrect spelling of a name. Pastor Dick Bigelow was incorrectly identified as Dick Bigblow. The Argus Observor regrets the error.

YOUTH PROGRAMS • GENERAL/SOCIAL – Skydiving for Tots – (ages 10 mos.–2 years) Introduce your toddler to the fun and thrill of skydiving before he or she develops unwarranted fears of freefalling. Certified jump instructor…

WANTED – Air Traffic Control. No Exp. Needed: we train, HS grads 17–34. Great pay, benefits. Must relocate. Call M-F…

Save on Manor Hall Interior Latex – Semi-Gross – $26.90…

WANTED: 30 Chinamen and a zeppelin for elaborate practical joke. Can you help? Please call…

WANTED. Hunting rifle, suitable for teenagers.