Author: Bo Burnham

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I’d still say no.

American comedian
Situations

My ex-girlfriend had a really weird fetish; she used to like to dress up as herself and then act like a bitch all the time.

American comedian
Girlfriends People

I’m constipated, couldn’t give a shit.

American comedian
Health

Ya back home they call me the tie-dye shirt kid… well that and ‘faggot.'

American comedian
People Self

Where are all the Sour Patch parents?

American comedian
Miscellaneous

If Jesus can walk on water can he swim on land?

American comedian
People

When life gets you down, make a comforter.

American comedian
Communication Wordplay