Quotes and One Liners

humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more

  • Home
  • About
  • Categories

    • Activities
    • Age
    • Animals
    • Appearance
    • Beliefs
    • Characteristics
    • Communication
    • Conflict
    • Death
    • Education
    • Emotions
    • Entertainment
    • Family
    • Food/Drink
    • Government
    • Health
    • Intelligence
    • Life
    • Marriage
    • Miscellaneous
    • Money
    • People
    • Places
    • Problems
    • Relationships
    • Science/Weather
    • Sex
    • Situations
    • Sports
    • Success
    • Things
    • Time
    • Work
  • Additional Categories

    • Book Titles
    • Confucius say
    • Definitions
    • Epitaphs
    • Exaggerations
    • Expressions
    • Hollywood Squares
    • Insults
    • Last Words
    • Murphy's Laws
    • Place Names
    • Proverbs
    • Reviews/Criticism
    • Song Titles
    • Tom Swifties
    • TV/Movie Quotes
  • Oops...

    • Bushisms
    • Church Bulletins
    • Classified Ads
    • Colemanballs
    • Headlines
    • Malaprops
    • Misspokements
    • Signs
    • Translations
    • Yogi-isms
  • Some Popular Authors

    • Abraham Lincoln
    • Alfred E. Neuman
    • Ambrose Bierce
    • Benjamin Franklin
    • Dave Barry
    • Demetri Martin
    • Dorothy Parker
    • Emo Phillips
    • George Carlin
    • Groucho Marx
    • H.L. Mencken
    • Homer Simpson
    • Jeff Foxworthy
    • Jimmy Carr
    • Joan Rivers
    • Mae West
    • Mark Twain
    • Mitch Hedberg
    • Oscar Wilde
    • Phyllis Diller
    • Richard Lewis
    • Rita Rudner
    • Rodney Dangerfield
    • Steven Wright
    • Stewart Francis
    • W.C. Fields
    • Will Rogers
    • Woody Allen
  • View All Authors

Author: Lewis Black Page 2

Candy corn is the only candy in the history of America that's never been advertised; and there's a reason – all of the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

Lewis Black
(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Food/Drink Past Time Candy corn

You'll always feel good about your body when you go there – no matter what your body is – because there's always someone there who weighs 350 pounds more than you'll ever weigh.

Lewis Black
(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Appearance Body Fat IHOP

He's a man who was a failure until he was 40 years old, which looks really good on your resume – if you're a comic.

Lewis Black
(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Failure Problems George W. Bush

North Korea is the country that the monkeys in The Wizard of Oz came from.

Lewis Black
(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Places North Korea
Page 2 of 2« Previous12













Copyright © Just-One-Liners.com