Author: Mr. Cranky Page 3

Andy has two problems common to most Americans: He's a moron and he's itching to get laid.

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I was stunned beyond words at the originality of the screenplay.

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The weird part about the advertising for Midnight in Paris is that it wasn't at all presented as some kind of time travel fantasy, which meant I left my aviator goggles and opium ampoules at home.

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“Flubber” is further evidence of the death of cinema.

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This Mamet adaptation takes place in a very confined space, involves little or no action and is mostly concerned with how many minutes an actor can spew Mamet's laborious dialogue without collapsing.

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Another half-baked helping of the worst kind of scientific clap-trap.

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Thor is really just like your dad out in the garage after a few drinks. Only more racist.

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In this day and age, there’s simply no good excuse for having that many children.

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If an utter lack of effort had its own award show, the people involved with Baseketball could stand proudly next to the Yugo engineers and Monica Lewinsky's personal trainer as deserving nominees.

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Watching Bride Wars is like being dragged to your third cousin’s niece’s wedding, then finding out that they’re not even serving alcohol at the reception.

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Unfortunately, all Coach Carter taught me was that I can actually scratch the first four verses of Revelations into the back of a theater chair with my fingernail in a little under two hours.

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Miscellaneous Reviews/Criticism

Chain Reaction has more nifty coincidences than an identical twins convention.

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It’s truly rare that you see this level of insightful childhood psychoanalysis in a film about a basketball-playing dog.

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There’s saccharine writing and then there’s writing that, if you could liquefy it and inject it into the five-year-olds watching this thing, would launch them into space. This is the latter.

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It’s like Isacsson wrote the dialogue to be performed by two sales consultants at a marketing conference.

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You know when an actress like Claire Forlani starts making fun of other actresses for being anorexic, the film is operating in another dimension.

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It probably helps if you're high too when checking out Bad Teacher, as that might help you get through the film’s excruciating lack of plot, combined with a cast of characters that might as well have been lifted directly from every single f**king movie about a school ever made… ever.

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Love is a douche commercial.

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To imagine that there was a whole process required to bring this film to screen is almost too painful to imagine.

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