Quotes and One Liners

humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more

  • Home
  • About
  • Categories

    • Activities
    • Age
    • Animals
    • Appearance
    • Beliefs
    • Characteristics
    • Communication
    • Conflict
    • Death
    • Education
    • Emotions
    • Entertainment
    • Family
    • Food/Drink
    • Government
    • Health
    • Intelligence
    • Life
    • Marriage
    • Miscellaneous
    • Money
    • People
    • Places
    • Problems
    • Relationships
    • Science/Weather
    • Sex
    • Situations
    • Sports
    • Success
    • Things
    • Time
    • Work
  • Additional Categories

    • Book Titles
    • Confucius say
    • Definitions
    • Epitaphs
    • Exaggerations
    • Expressions
    • Hollywood Squares
    • Insults
    • Last Words
    • Murphy's Laws
    • Place Names
    • Proverbs
    • Reviews/Criticism
    • Song Titles
    • Tom Swifties
    • TV/Movie Quotes
  • Oops...

    • Bushisms
    • Church Bulletins
    • Classified Ads
    • Colemanballs
    • Headlines
    • Malaprops
    • Misspokements
    • Signs
    • Translations
    • Yogi-isms
  • Some Popular Authors

    • Abraham Lincoln
    • Alfred E. Neuman
    • Ambrose Bierce
    • Benjamin Franklin
    • Dave Barry
    • Demetri Martin
    • Dorothy Parker
    • Emo Phillips
    • George Carlin
    • Groucho Marx
    • H.L. Mencken
    • Homer Simpson
    • Jeff Foxworthy
    • Jimmy Carr
    • Joan Rivers
    • Mae West
    • Mark Twain
    • Mitch Hedberg
    • Oscar Wilde
    • Phyllis Diller
    • Richard Lewis
    • Rita Rudner
    • Rodney Dangerfield
    • Steven Wright
    • Stewart Francis
    • W.C. Fields
    • Will Rogers
    • Woody Allen
  • View All Authors

Author: Paula Poundstone

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

Paula Poundstone
(1959 – ) American comedian
Characteristics Taxes Sin Wages

I'm the only person I know of who's ever been pulled over for attempted speeding.

Paula Poundstone
(1959 – ) American comedian
Autos Things Speeding

The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look whether they’ve seen a moth or an ax murder.

Paula Poundstone
(1959 – ) American comedian
Animals Cats

I don't have a bank account, because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

Paula Poundstone
(1959 – ) American comedian
Money Mothers Bank account Maiden name

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas.

Paula Poundstone
(1959 – ) American comedian
Age Children Ideas

We need a twelve-step group for compulsive talkers; they could call it On Anon Anon.

Paula Poundstone
(1959 – ) American comedian
Communication People Speech Talking

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it’s just sort of a tired feeling.

Paula Poundstone
(1959 – ) American comedian
Miscellaneous Sin

I was born in Alabama, but I only lived there for a month before I'd done everything there was to do.

Paula Poundstone
(1959 – ) American comedian
Places Alabama













Copyright © Just-One-Liners.com