Author Rob Vaux | Just-One-Liners.com

Author: Rob Vaux

I’d give real money to see the perpetrators of Chicago torn apart by dingoes.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism Chicago

Memoirs of a Geisha builds a beautiful garden, then runs an interstate through it to let more people in.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Memoirs of a Geisha”

Progressing from nowhere to nothing and leaving only a greasy taste in the mouth as a reward.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Conan the Barbarian”

While Babylon A.D. isn’t the worst big-budget sci-fi film ever made, it comes near enough to merit avoiding at all costs.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Babylon A.D.”

Whew! That was close: something almost happened there for a minute.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2”

I suppose certain college fraternities could make screening it part of their hazing rituals.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Caligula”

House of Wax is cheap, dirty entertainment, and it knows it.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “House of Wax”

Dragging your boyfriend/husband to this movie will give him the leverage to demand multiple screenings of Jerry Bruckheimer films as penance. Ladies, you have been warned.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Must Love Dogs”

You say ‘psychotic codependency’ like it’s a bad thing.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Crazy Love”

God help us, there’s going to be a director’s cut, isn’t there?

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism Review of “Eragon”

Fool! Dost thou not know that creepy children have cursed our screens in numbers too great to count, and by now, we find them marginally less terrifying than navel lint?

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “The Reaping”

Only someone so smart could make a movie this stupid.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “My Soul to Take” Writer/director Wes Craven

If you hear the phrase "Italian caveman epic" and your heart doesn't sing at least a little bit, then I pity your sad and joyless existence.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Yor the Hunter from the Future”

Stop for a moment and ponder just how stupid it is to blow the ending of your movie in the title.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn”

It doesn’t suck. Please take a moment to pick your jaw up off the floor and we’ll continue.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Rocky Balboa”

Rarely has the phrase "going through the motions" felt more fitting.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Miscellaneous “R.I.P.D.”

This couple has endured for over 900 years; the least Tristan & Isolde can do is show us a reason why.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Tristan & Isolde”

Robbing casinos? Shit, these guys should be in charge of Katrina relief!

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Ocean’s Thirteen”

Fee. Fi. Fo. Meh.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Miscellaneous “Jack the Giant Slayer”

Oh come on. Like you couldn’t smell this turkey rotting from miles away.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “The Scorpion King”

A tedious, astonishingly irritating march through scene after scene of quasi-Jungian horse flop.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Lady in the Water”

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Author: Rob Vaux

I’d give real money to see the perpetrators of Chicago torn apart by dingoes.

Memoirs of a Geisha builds a beautiful garden, then runs an interstate through it to let more people in.

Progressing from nowhere to nothing and leaving only a greasy taste in the mouth as a reward.

While Babylon A.D. isn’t the worst big-budget sci-fi film ever made, it comes near enough to merit avoiding at all costs.

Whew! That was close: something almost happened there for a minute.

I suppose certain college fraternities could make screening it part of their hazing rituals.

House of Wax is cheap, dirty entertainment, and it knows it.

Dragging your boyfriend/husband to this movie will give him the leverage to demand multiple screenings of Jerry Bruckheimer films as penance. Ladies, you have been warned.

You say ‘psychotic codependency’ like it’s a bad thing.

God help us, there’s going to be a director’s cut, isn’t there?

Fool! Dost thou not know that creepy children have cursed our screens in numbers too great to count, and by now, we find them marginally less terrifying than navel lint?

Only someone so smart could make a movie this stupid.

If you hear the phrase "Italian caveman epic" and your heart doesn't sing at least a little bit, then I pity your sad and joyless existence.

Stop for a moment and ponder just how stupid it is to blow the ending of your movie in the title.

It doesn’t suck. Please take a moment to pick your jaw up off the floor and we’ll continue.

Rarely has the phrase "going through the motions" felt more fitting.

This couple has endured for over 900 years; the least Tristan & Isolde can do is show us a reason why.

Robbing casinos? Shit, these guys should be in charge of Katrina relief!

Fee. Fi. Fo. Meh.

Oh come on. Like you couldn’t smell this turkey rotting from miles away.

A tedious, astonishingly irritating march through scene after scene of quasi-Jungian horse flop.