Author Rob Vaux | Just-One-Liners.com

Author: Rob Vaux

While Babylon A.D. isn’t the worst big-budget sci-fi film ever made, it comes near enough to merit avoiding at all costs.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Babylon A.D.”

If you hear the phrase "Italian caveman epic" and your heart doesn't sing at least a little bit, then I pity your sad and joyless existence.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Yor the Hunter from the Future”

You say ‘psychotic codependency’ like it’s a bad thing.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Crazy Love”

Though a scant 100 minutes long, After Earth feels longer and slower than your average PBS pledge drive.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Miscellaneous “After Earth”

By trying to convince us that we’re having a good time even as it pounds us senseless, Speed Racer moves beyond mediocrity and into the realm of active irritant.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Speed Racer”

Julianne Moore] spends the entire film walking the razor’s edge: gauging the difference between brilliance and disaster before assertively losing her balance.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Freedomland”

Psst! DreamWorks! Your Nemo envy is showing!

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Shark Tale”

Fool! Dost thou not know that creepy children have cursed our screens in numbers too great to count, and by now, we find them marginally less terrifying than navel lint?

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “The Reaping”

Real-life military trainers – regardless of gender – never make you say, ‘Wow you’re hot!’ They make you say, ‘I’ll do whatever you want, please don’t hurt me.’

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Annapolis”

God help us, there’s going to be a director’s cut, isn’t there?

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism Review of “Eragon”

It doesn’t suck. Please take a moment to pick your jaw up off the floor and we’ll continue.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Rocky Balboa”

Dragging your boyfriend/husband to this movie will give him the leverage to demand multiple screenings of Jerry Bruckheimer films as penance. Ladies, you have been warned.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Must Love Dogs”

It’s obvious that nobody believed in this project longer than it took for the check to clear.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “The Sentinel”

A living testament to how low a studio will stoop to generate a few bucks.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Miscellaneous “Jaws 3”

At least it’s not in 3D.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “The Hangover Part II”

I’d give real money to see the perpetrators of Chicago torn apart by dingoes.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism Chicago

It's flawless in its flaws, without a single redeeming element to obscure its idealized awfulness.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Nutcracker in 3D”

That isn’t brimstone we’re smelling on Ghost Rider. It’s something else.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Ghost Rider”

Oh come on. Like you couldn’t smell this turkey rotting from miles away.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “The Scorpion King”

Rarely has the phrase "going through the motions" felt more fitting.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Miscellaneous “R.I.P.D.”

This couple has endured for over 900 years; the least Tristan & Isolde can do is show us a reason why.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Tristan & Isolde”

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Author: Rob Vaux

While Babylon A.D. isn’t the worst big-budget sci-fi film ever made, it comes near enough to merit avoiding at all costs.

If you hear the phrase "Italian caveman epic" and your heart doesn't sing at least a little bit, then I pity your sad and joyless existence.

You say ‘psychotic codependency’ like it’s a bad thing.

Though a scant 100 minutes long, After Earth feels longer and slower than your average PBS pledge drive.

By trying to convince us that we’re having a good time even as it pounds us senseless, Speed Racer moves beyond mediocrity and into the realm of active irritant.

Julianne Moore] spends the entire film walking the razor’s edge: gauging the difference between brilliance and disaster before assertively losing her balance.

Psst! DreamWorks! Your Nemo envy is showing!

Fool! Dost thou not know that creepy children have cursed our screens in numbers too great to count, and by now, we find them marginally less terrifying than navel lint?

Real-life military trainers – regardless of gender – never make you say, ‘Wow you’re hot!’ They make you say, ‘I’ll do whatever you want, please don’t hurt me.’

God help us, there’s going to be a director’s cut, isn’t there?

It doesn’t suck. Please take a moment to pick your jaw up off the floor and we’ll continue.

Dragging your boyfriend/husband to this movie will give him the leverage to demand multiple screenings of Jerry Bruckheimer films as penance. Ladies, you have been warned.

It’s obvious that nobody believed in this project longer than it took for the check to clear.

A living testament to how low a studio will stoop to generate a few bucks.

At least it’s not in 3D.

I’d give real money to see the perpetrators of Chicago torn apart by dingoes.

It's flawless in its flaws, without a single redeeming element to obscure its idealized awfulness.

That isn’t brimstone we’re smelling on Ghost Rider. It’s something else.

Oh come on. Like you couldn’t smell this turkey rotting from miles away.

Rarely has the phrase "going through the motions" felt more fitting.

This couple has endured for over 900 years; the least Tristan & Isolde can do is show us a reason why.