Author: Bumper sticker Page 2

Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?

Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.

Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.

My Dog Can Lick Anyone

Finally 21, and Legally Able to Do Everything I've Been Doing Since I Was 15

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

Learn from your parents' mistakes – use birth control.

When you do a good deed, get a receipt – in case heaven is like the IRS.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

Young at Heart – Slightly Older in Other Places

It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.

You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!

Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're a jerk

Change is inevitable… except from vending machines.

Re-Elect Nobody

You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.

Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.

Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.

When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Use Duct Tape