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Keep your wait under control – take a number.

Signs At a bakery

RIGHT HAIR, RIGHT NOW

Signs Name of a hair salon

Please Do Not Throw Stones at This Sign – Thank You

PUSH – If It Doesn't Open, PULL – If It Still Doesn't Open, We Are Closed

Signs On a retail store door in Stevens Point WI

Arby’s – Wanted – Great Tits

JUNK & DISORDERLY

Signs Name of a store in England

Archangel Fireworks Inc.

Open 11AM to 11PM Midnight

Signs In a New Jersey restaurant

APPLY TODAY – Now Open = Pizza Cook – Qualifications: Not be a Crybag, Masters in S.Y.M. – Shutting Your Mouth – Able to Read Your Schedule

Signs In a restaurant window

Ears Pierced While You Wait

Signs In a jeweler's shop

TREASPASERS WILL BE SHOT – SURVIVORS WILL BE SHOT AGAIN

No Parking Above This Sign

DANGER – Groin Subject To Wave Overtopping

Signs At a beach

Parking for Bargain World & Dunkin’ Donuts Customers Only – All Others Will Be Toad [sic]

Signs Froggy’s Towing

Unattended children will be given an espresso & a free puppy

Signs At a shop

Haircuts while you wait.

Signs At a hair salon

SHOPLIFTERS – Will Be Dealt With in a Medieval Fashion

BUS STOP – Buses Excepted

TOUCHING WIRES CAUSES INSTANT DEATH – $200 FINE – Newcastle Tramway Authority

This Light Never Turns Green

Signs At a traffic light

Pool Closed – Fecal Accident