Author: Dorothy Parker

How could they tell?

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Death Insults

I wish you could have heard that pretty crash Beauty and the Beast made when, with one sweeping, liquid gesture, I tossed it out of my twelfth-story window.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Reviews/Criticism

She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Acting Reviews/Criticism

He (Robert Benchley) and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Places

Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
People Self

All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Friends People Sex

An admiring drunk to Parker: I simply can’t bear fools.
Parker: Apparently, your mother did not have the same difficulty.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Fools Intelligence

You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Intelligence Language People Thinking Women

I went to convent in New York and was fired finally for my insistence that the Immaculate Conception was spontaneous combustion.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Situations

The play holds the season’s record, thus far, with a run of four evening performances and one matinée… by an odd coincidence, it ran just five performances too many.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Reviews/Criticism

The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant – and let the air out of the tires.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Children Family Places

Tell him I’ve been too f**king busy – or vice versa.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Activities Sex Situations Time

Where does she find them?

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Insults

Money cannot buy health, but I’ll settle for a diamond studded wheelchair.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Health Money

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly; it should be thrown with great force.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Reviews/Criticism

The only thing I didn’t like about The Barretts of Wimpole Street was the play.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Reviews/Criticism

He’s a writer for the ages… for the ages of four to eight.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Communication Reading/Writing Reviews/Criticism

“House Beautiful” is the play lousy.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Reviews/Criticism

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Activities Girls People School Sex

A lady… with all the poise of the Sphinx though but little of her mystery.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Reviews/Criticism

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and she can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Communication Insults Intelligence Sex