Subject: Activities » Travel (Page 4)

Kids… I like kids, but I couldn’t eat a whole one.

The time to enjoy a European tour is about three weeks after you unpack.

(1672 – 1719) English essasyist, poet & politician

I'm often asked why I travel around the country talking politics: Is it for humanitarian reasons, community spirit, or is it for the money, the limousines or the girls? … The answers are: no, no, yes yes yes!

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign

I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor

Bus schedules are arranged so your bus will arrive at the transfer point precisely one minute after the connecting bus has left.

Never, ever, fly on the airline of the country from which you are departing.

It always takes longer to get there than to get back.

The transatlantic crossing was so rough the only thing that I could keep on my stomach was the first mate.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist

In America there are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist

There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you’re anxious to meet people who do.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor