Subject: Classifieds (Page 20)

Wanted: Tudor [sic] needed for help in English class.

For Sale: Basketball Hoop and backboard. Only used for dunking kid brother.

10th Annual Southeastern Guide Dog BBQ– $10.00 per person…

Dinner Special – Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00

’06 Frod Focus $9,999

MOVING SALE – EVERYTHING IS FREE AND MUST GO IMMEDIATELY!!! ITEMS ALREADY AT THE CURB FOR CONVENIENT LOADING!!!

Manure Digester Summit, 9:30am–3pm, $20 includes lunch…

Restaurant Assistant Manager: Applicants with the necessary experience need not apply.

In reply to your valued enquiry, we enclose illustrations of Dining Tables of Oak, seating fourteen people with round legs and twelve people with square legs, with prices attached.

Design House Furniture Galleries FATHER’S DAY CHAIR SALE 30 to 50 % off list price – Give Father His Own Electric Chair…

We build bodies that last a lifetime.

Bar S sliced balogna – regular or tasty

PET OF THE WEEK • Let this dog, Pea, in your home.

Rattle snake 4 months old, good play thing for kids 10 yrs to 80 yrs. 6.5 H.P. go-cart $795. Will hold till X0-mas. Also, chain saw. Call…

ANY YARD… ANY SIZE $20.00. – Call for a Free Estimate

Are you Kate Bush?’ Write to obsessive man (36). Note, people who aren't Kate Bush need not respond.

Help wanted, singer for rock band. Must be female or male.

This advert is about as close as I come to meaningful interaction with other adults. Woman, 51. Not good at parties but tremendous breasts. Box no. 5436.

Help Wanted – “Must dominate the English language” – Call: (917) 797-….

SITUATIONS WANTED – WILL CLEAN your home, will take in washing & ironing in my home. Will also tattoo pet dog at your home. 297-….

AMANDA – I’m running a bit late. Will be there in about an hour. How far apart are the contractions?