Subject: Entertainment » Music

There is nothing remarkable about it; all one has to do is to hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself.

(1685 – 1750) German composer & musician

Beethoven always sounds to me like the upsetting of a bag of nails, with here and there also a dropped hammer.

(1819 – 1900) English art critic, social thinker, poet & artist

Let me tell you about Jack's singing voice… it made his violin playing sound good.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

Jack Benny would end his act by playing a tune on his violin, so naturally he got a big cheer when he finished.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

After conducting a concert in a small town, I once received the following note from a farmer who had attended the performance: “Dear Sir, I wish to inform you that the man who played the long thing you pull in and out only did so during the brief periods you were looking at him.

(1867 – 1957) Italian conductor

Hell is full of musical amateurs.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Someone came too sooner.

(1899 – 1985) Hungarian-born conductor & violinist

Never look at the trombones; you’ll only encourage them.

(1864 – 1949) German composer

When you are about 35 years old, something terrible always happens to music.

(1921 – 2009) British composer, pianist and radio & television presenter

The hardest thing in the world is to start an orchestra, and the next hardest, to stop it.

(1843 – 1916) Hungarian conductor

Playing ‘Bop’ is like ‘Scrabble’ with all the vowels missing.

(1899 – 1974) American composer, pianist & bandleader

Generally, he had a good ear; he didn't know the notes that well, but he played in their general vicinity.

(1934 – ) daughter of Jack Benny and Mary Livingstone

Australia's gift to insomniacs; it's nothing but the blonde singing the bland.

(1947 – 1979) American singer

We are not used to playing the kind of venues that don't have a drain in the middle of the floor.

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician

Longfellow is to poetry what the barrel-organ is to music.

(1886 – 1963) literary critic, biographer & historian

The scratch on the record is through the song you like most.

It's bad when they don't perform your operas – but when they do, it's far worse.

(1835 – 1921) French Late-Romantic composer, conductor & pianist

The bagpipes sound exactly the same when you have finished learning them as when you start.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor

When an opera star sings her head off, she usually improves her appearance.

(1909 – 2000) Danish-born comedian & pianist

There are two golden rules for an orchestra: start together and finish together; the public doesn’t give a damn what goes on inbetween.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor

He has Van Gogh's ear for music.

Charles Farrar Browne (1834 – 1867) humorist