Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Entertainment
(Page 2)
I've been doing some extremely abstract paintings… no paint, no canvas; I just think about it.
Steven Wright
(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Art
Entertainment
Thinking
Abstract paintings
Talk low, talk slow, and don't say much.
John Wayne
(1907 – 1979) American film actor, director & producer
Acting
Entertainment
On acting
You might be a redneck if… your your idea of high-quality entertainment is a six-pack and a bug-zapper.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Alcohol
Beer
Entertainment
People
Rednecks
Bug-zapper
When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
Bob Hope
(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Communication
Entertainment
Music
Exaggerations
Phyllis Diller
I only know two pieces; one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.
Victor Borge
(1909 – 2000) Danish-born comedian & pianist
Entertainment
Music
Insturments
Piano
Which painting in the National Gallery would I save if there was a fire?… the one nearest the door of course.
George Bernard Shaw
(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Art
Entertainment
Situations
Fire
Acting: A good training for political life; the only problem is the speeches are harder to learn.
Ronald Reagan
(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Acting
Entertainment
Occupations
Without him here, it is impossible to know how fast he will play it, approximately.
Eugene Ormandy
(1899 – 1985) Hungarian-born conductor & violinist
Entertainment
Misspokements
Music
For a director, a musical is a special kind of hell.
Mike Nichols
(1931 – 2014) German-born American director, producer, actor & comedian
Entertainment
Musicals
Theater
In the city, a funeral is just an interruption of traffic; in the country it is a form of popular entertainment.
Joseph Addison
(1672 – 1719) English essasyist, poet & politician
Death
Entertainment
Places
Funerals
Traffic
Play us a medley of your hit.
Oscar Levant
(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Entertainment
Insults
Music
To George Gershwin
A musical is a series of catastrophes ending with a floor show.
Oscar Levant
(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Entertainment
Musical
The only reason I'm in Hollywood is that I don't have the moral courage to refuse the money.
Marlon Brando
(1924 – 2004) American actor
Acting
Hollywood
Money
Places
Courage
You might be a redneck if… the Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Entertainment
People
Rednecks
Shopping
Television
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don’t need.
Auguste Rodin
(1840 – 1917) French sculptor
Art
Entertainment
On sculpting
Italian chefs screaming risotto recipes at each other.
Aristotle Onassis
(1906 – 1975) Greek shipping magnate
Entertainment
Opera
I started my career in kindergarten playing a tube of toothpaste in a hygiene play.
Henry Winkler
(1945 – ) American actor, director, comedian, producer & author
Acting
Entertainment
Occupations
Work
This might have been good for a picture… except it has too many characters in it.
Wilson Mizner
(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Entertainment
Film
Of the Los Angeles phone book
A body at rest tends to watch television.
Smith’s Fourth Law of Inertia
Entertainment
Murphy’s Laws
Television
C. Guy Smith
The first time I saw you on stage I realized what a wonderful voice you've got; I think you're so brave not to have had it trained.
Mrs. Patrick Campbell
(1865-1940) English actress
Entertainment
Insults
Reviews/Criticism
Singing
To an actress
It’s difficult to remember when you haven’t played it before.
Eugene Ormandy
(1899 – 1985) Hungarian-born conductor & violinist
Entertainment
Intelligence
Memory
Misspokements
Music
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