Subject: Government » Congress

When they call the roll in the Senate, the senators do not know whether to answer ‘Present’ or ‘Not guilty.’

(1858 – 1919) 26th U.S. president
Congress Government

Congress is back in season.

Congress Government Malaprops

Congress is so strange; a man gets up to speak and says nothing – nobody listens—and then everybody disagrees.

(1898 – 1967) Russian writer
Communication Congress Government Speech

The wind doesn’t bother me. I’m in the U.S. Senate.

(1923 – ) U.S. senator (Kansas) & presidential candidate
Congress Government

With Congress, every time they make a joke it’s a law, and every time they make a law it’s a joke.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Emotions Government

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Government People Situations Things

Rear: In American military matters, that exposed part of the army that is nearest to Congress.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Congress Definitions Military

We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating and complex, but Congress can.

(1923 – ) American quote & quip writer
Congress Government

Senate: A body of elderly gentlemen charged with high duties and misdemeanors.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Congress Definitions Government

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress but I repeat myself.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Congress Fools Government Insults Intelligence

The legislature’s job is to write law; it’s the executive branch’s job to interpret law.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Congress Government Law President

Isn’t it great to live in a society where the penalty for lying to a congressman can be up to 30 years in jail, but the penalty for a congressman lying to you is another two years in office.

(1955 – ) American sportswriter
Beliefs Congress Golf Government Honesty Law Lies

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Alcohol Congress Government

Congress: A place where there are too many Democratic congressmen, too many Republican congressmen – and not enough U.S. Congressmen.

Congress Definitions Government

Those that respect the law and love sausage should watch neither being made.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Congress Food/Drink Government Law

I have wondered at times about what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US. Congress.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Congress Government

The mistakes made by Congress wouldn’t be so bad if the next Congress didn’t keep trying to correct them.

(1923 – ) American quote & quip writer
Congress Government Mistakes Problems

Congratulations, Congress! 77% disapproval rating! You may be about to become the English language’s most offensive C-word.

(1977 – ) British political comedian & television host
Congress Government

Confucius perspired out more knowledge than the U.S. Senate has vocalized out in the last 50 years.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Government Intelligence

The difference between a whore and a congressman is that a congressman makes more money.

(1927 – 1989) author, essayist & environmentalist
Congress Government Sex

There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
America Congress Government Places Problems