Subject: Hollywood Squares (Page 14)

Peter Marshall: According to Parade magazine, on what night of the week is a woman most likely to be molested?

Rose Marie: With my luck it’s tonight and I’m working.

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… NASA officials report that when Chinese vice-premier Dang visited the astronaut training headquarters recently, the one big question he demanded to know was… where the astronauts go to the bathroom?!

Paul Lynde: The answer was over China!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Your baby has a certain object which he loves to cling to. Should you try to break him of his habit?

Joan Rivers: Yes. It’s daddy’s turn.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  Paul, the Rio Grande River separates Texas and Mexico.  What does “Rio Grande” mean in Spanish?

Paul Lynde:  El Washing Machine.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Are there any nudist camps in Italy?

Paul Lynde: No, the flies would eat you alive.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the Reverend Billy Graham, what sin have you committed if you drink too much?

George Gobel:  Gluttony.  The neighbors say I ate their cat. 

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What is a good reason for pounding meat?

Paul Lynde: Loneliness!


(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Robert Young recently stated, “I never, never give…” something to his fans who ask for it. What?

Paul Lynde: A hysterectomy.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, in the early days of Hollywood, who was usually found atop Tony, the Wonder Horse?

Paul Lynde: My Friend Flicka.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In The Wizard of Oz, the lion wanted courage and the tin man wanted a heart. What did the scarecrow want?

Paul Lynde: He wanted the tin man to notice him.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Modern science can’t really explain why, but if you go outside at night, stand on your head, and stare at the full moon, you will notice something unusual. What?

Paul Lynde: Yes, in eight seconds, rain will fill up your nose.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  True or false – rumors circulate in business offices more than any place else.

Charley Weaver: That’s false, Peter, and we’re certainly going to miss you around here!

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Would you be surprised to find some wood in your hot dog?

Paul Lynde: No, but I’d be surprised to find some meat.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Do most American families have at least one pet?

George Gobel: Yes, and it usually happens during the Johnny Carson show.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:When President Nixon was in Poland recently the Polish people kept shouting, “Stolat! Stolat! Stolat!” What does “Stolat” mean?

Paul Lynde: Welcome, President Johnson

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… there are more psychiatrists in Beverly Hills than plumbers.

Paul Lynde: When my toilet’s backed up, I don’t care who fixes it!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Where does most of the olive oil in the world come from?

Paul Lynde: Caesar Romero’s comb.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to The Book of Fairies, who is that creature who stands 14 inches tall, is 400 years old, and is dressed all in Lincoln green?

Paul Lynde:  The Emperor Hirohito.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: The average child in China learns how to do it at age three. The average child in America never learns. What?

Paul Lynde: How to pull a rickshaw.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during your first year?

Charley Weaver: Of course not, Peter. I’m too busy growing strawberries!

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What are “Do It”, “I Can Help” and “Can’t Get Enough”?

George Gobel: I don’t know, but it’s coming from the next apartment.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares