Author: Paul Lynde

Peter Marshall: A photograph of Queen Elizabeth had her stepping onto the shores of Bangkok, onto a carpet made of what?

Paul Lynde: 40% Dacron.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Right after Trigger died, what did Roy Rogers announce he would do?

Paul Lynde: Dismount.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In what Dickens classic, Paul, will you find the phrase “You may find us rough, sir, but you’ll find us ready?”

Paul Lynde: Little Women.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: When Henry Kissinger recently visited Japan, he went to a Geisha House, now how did he spent his time in the Geisha House?

Paul Lynde: Oh, negotiating for “peace!”

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Lawrence Welk says that as a teenager, he promised his father he would work hard on their farm for four years, his Daddy would loan him the money to buy something few boys ever get. What?

Paul Lynde: A champagne lady.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What do you call a man who gives you diamonds and pearls?

Paul Lynde: I’d call him “Darling”!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Which performing team were the stars of Ed Sullivan’s first TV show?

Paul Lynde: Aretha and Benjamin Franklin.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… cow’s horns are used to make ice cream.

Paul Lynde: You mean those weren’t chocolate chips?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… in Athens recently, they discovered sketches of the great philosopher Socrates, revealing that he bore a striking resemblance to Paul Newman?

Paul Lynde: But he walked like Joanne!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In the Bible, who was found in a basket among the bulrushes?

Paul Lynde: Colonel Sanders.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: At the end of the movie The Planet of the Apes, what does Charlton Heston see that makes him realize that he is actually in New York City?

Paul Lynde: A Puerto Rican.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… there are more psychiatrists in Beverly Hills than plumbers.

Paul Lynde: When my toilet’s backed up, I don’t care who fixes it!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What is the name of the song that is played when the President of the United States walks into a room?

Paul Lynde: Send in the Clowns.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: If the right part comes along, will George C. Scott do a nude scene?

Paul Lynde: You mean he doesn’t have the right part?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What should you do if you’re going 55 miles per hour and your tires suddenly blow out?

Paul Lynde: Honk if you believe in Jesus.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:When President Nixon was in Poland recently the Polish people kept shouting, “Stolat! Stolat! Stolat!” What does “Stolat” mean?

Paul Lynde: Welcome, President Johnson

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Olivia De Havilland once sat on something in a movie that Roy Rogers says he grew to love. What is it?

Paul Lynde: A box of Milk Duds.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Miscellaneous

Peter Marshall: What should you do if your parakeet has a temperature of 112 degrees?

Paul Lynde: Baste him!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Burt Reynolds is quoted as saying, “Dinah (Shore)’s in top form. I’ve never known anyone to be so completely able to throw herself into a…” A what?

Paul Lynde: A headboard.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, what is the Mister Yuk sticker meant to be put on?

Paul Lynde: Oh, motel bedspreads

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: You have a bunch of unwanted hair. According to Dr. Thotusen, what is most often the cause of unwanted hair? A bunch of it?

Paul Lynde: Running over a llama.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares