Subject: Hollywood Squares (Page 19)

Peter Marshall: Modern science can’t really explain why, but if you go outside at night, stand on your head, and stare at the full moon, you will notice something unusual. What?

Paul Lynde: Yes, in eight seconds, rain will fill up your nose.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: You’re a shy, bashful girl. According to Cosmo, will you probably be helped in overcoming your shyness by choosing an extroverted, outgoing husband?

Rose Marie: Gosh, Pete, I did that once and his wife caught us.

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the Women’s International Bowling Congress, are there any women 80 years old who still bowl regularly?

Paul Lynde: Yes, but that’s all they do regularly.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What is a good reason for pounding meat?

Paul Lynde: Loneliness!


(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the French Chef, Julia Child, how much is a pinch?

Paul Lynde: Just enough to turn her on.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Prehistoric man had two uses for sheep. One was for food. What was the other?

Paul Lynde: Conversation.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the World Book, is it okay to freeze your persimmons?

Paul Lynde: No. You should dress warmly.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: To Roy Rogers, what is Cowboy Heaven?

Paul Lynde: Seven minutes with Tammy Wynette!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the celebrated Masters & Johnson, there are about four or five thousand places offering sex therapy in America today. Now do they feel that most of them are doing a really good job?

George Gobel: Well, not the ones where you don't have to leave your car.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Imagine you are a child in your mother’s womb, can you detect light?

Paul Lynde: Only during ballet practice.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: A woman who is divorced, has a college education, and is nineteen-years-old is more like to have a certain ailment than anybody else. What ailment?

Paul Lynde: The heartbreak of psorriasis.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… a shipment of the Pill was recently recalled because they were actually sugar pills.

Paul Lynde: Does this mean all of the babies born in November will have pimples?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: The average child in China learns how to do it at age three. The average child in America never learns. What?

Paul Lynde: How to pull a rickshaw.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In one state, you can deduct $5 from a traffic ticket if you show the officer… what?

Paul Lynde: A ten dollar bill.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In the Bible, King Balshazar saw the handwriting on the wall, and later that night something unfortunate happened. What?

Joan Rivers: Yeah, well, he found out that Shirley’s number had been disconnected.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Can chewing gum help prevent a child from catching a cold?

Paul Lynde: No, but I know it’ll plug a runny nose.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to an old song, you should “Wrap all your troubles in…” What?

George Gobel: Furs… and tell her to stop calling your house! 

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Raquel Welch, a woman’s bust size should have nothing to do with her sex appeal. True or false?

Joan Rivers: That’s easy for her to say.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Robert Mitchum, one thing has ruined more actors than drinking. What?

Charley Weaver: Not drinking.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to legend, who looks better, a pixie or a fairy?

Paul Lynde (in deeper voice): Well, looks aren’t everything!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to an article in the Dayton Daily News, it’s the most universal reaction in men after they’ve gotten their divorce. What is it?

George Gobel: Relief.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares