Subject: Hollywood Squares (Page 8)

Peter Marshall: Julie Nixon Eisenhower recently told reporters “You don’t know what a relief it is not to worry about having them around all the time!.” What are “they?”

Paul Lynde: Mom and Dad.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Charles, how many balls would you expect to find on a billiard table?

Charley Weaver: How many guys are playing?

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Way back in 1256, a philosopher and monk named Roger Bacon took 41.2 percent salt peter, and 29.4 each of sulfur and carbon, and came up with the modern version of something… what?

Rose Marie: Army food.

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while you are talking?

Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing older question, Peter…and I’ll give you a gesture you’ll never forget!

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Karen Valentine made her film debut in a film called “Gidget…” Gidget what?

Paul Lynde: Gidget Gets Morning Sickness.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Your date’s had a great shock, now she’s fainted. According to experts you should loosen her clothing, and do one other thing. What?

Paul Lynde: Send a postcard requesting an ambulance.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the IRS, out of every 10 Americans audited, how many end up paying more taxes?

Paul Lynde: 11.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Elizabeth Post, does she think it’s a good idea to send out divorce invitations?

Sonny Bono: I forgot to ask!

(1935 – 1998) American recording artist, record producer, actor & politician
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: The great Sphinx has a human’s head, but whose body?

Rose Marie: Milton Berle's.

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to The People’s Almanac, what do they call it when one person is engaged in kissing, fondling, and caressing with another person?

George Gobel: In show  business, we call it an interview.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, in ancient Rome, bakers were required by law to bake something into each loaf of bread. What?

Paul Lynde: A Christian.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:When President Nixon was in Poland recently the Polish people kept shouting, “Stolat! Stolat! Stolat!” What does “Stolat” mean?

Paul Lynde: Welcome, President Johnson

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Playboy Magazine recently published a book by billionaire J. Paul Getty called, “How To …” How to what?

Paul Lynde: How To Treat Oily Skin.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Will humming help your tennis game?

Florence Henderson: Will humming help my tennis game? Sure, why not? It takes your mind off your balls, or something.

(1934 – 2016) American actress & singer
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, Broderick Crawford says that he is often mistaken for….

Paul Lynde: A dump truck.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… the dining room of the House of Representatives in Congress serves 10-12 gallons of beans every day?

George Gobel: And they go pass… (laughter) legislation!

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to an article in the Dayton Daily News, it’s the most universal reaction in men after they’ve gotten their divorce. What is it?

George Gobel: Relief.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to psychologists, when a child begins to get curious about sex, what is the one question he will most ask his mommy and daddy?

Paul Lynde: Where can I get some?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: You’re equipped with a pick, a sieve, and a shallow pan. What are you about to do?

Paul Lynde: Joan Crawford’s eyebrows.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Is there anything an elephant loves more than a big bag of peanuts?

Paul Lynde: The love scenes in Dumbo.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In Alice in Wonderland, who kept crying “I’m late, I’m late?”

Paul Lynde: Alice, and her mother is sick about it.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares