Subject: Hollywood Squares (Page 6)

John Davidson: A Russian man has just shown you his “balalaika.” What has he shown you?

Jim J. Bullock: Why he’s not so popular with the party girls.

(1955 – ) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Elizabeth Taylor calls it ‘the Big One,’ What is it?

Paul Lynde: They both look the same to me!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Burt Reynolds is quoted as saying, “Dinah (Shore)’s in top form. I’ve never known anyone to be so completely able to throw herself into a…” A what?

Paul Lynde: A headboard.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the old song, “At night, when you’re asleep, into your tent I’ll creep.” Who am I?

Paul Lynde: The scoutmaster!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: You’re in an airplane and you’ve developed engine trouble. What do you traditionally say over the radio?

Buddy Hackett: What the (bleep) am I doing here?

(1924 – 2003) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, Broderick Crawford says that he is often mistaken for….

Paul Lynde: A dump truck.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Billy Graham recently called it “our great hope in a confusing and ever-changing world.” What is it?

Paul Lynde: Pampers.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… manufacturers of ladies’ foundation garments are saying that women’s waists are expanding much faster than their busts or hips.

Carol Channing: How frightening. They’re gonna be bigger than…they’re all gonna be egg-shaped.

(1921 – ) American singer, actress & comedian
Hollywood Squares

[the loud horn sounds to signify time running out] Peter Marshall: Let me explain what that means…

Big Bird: Don’t look at me!

Muppet
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… Paul, Gypsy folklore says that God created man by baking him in an oven.
Paul Lynde: [turns and looks at Black singer Leslie Uggams] Looks like you were overcooked.
[Leslie Uggams laughed so hard she was lying across the desk.]

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the Bible, they never get old, and not one of them has been known to get sick. Who are they?

Charo: The Osmonds

(1951 – ) Spanish-American actress, comedian & flamenco guitarist
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Spiro Agnew was in the infantry during World War Two.  Was he decorated?

Wally Cox: He looked really pretty in the puka shells but they made him take them off…

(1924 – 1973) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… George Jessel has a 9 year old daughter.

Paul Lynde: False. It’s his girlfriend

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to flag ettiquette, how does a woman show her respect for the American flag? 

George Gobel: She picks up a sailor.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Way back in 1256, a philosopher and monk named Roger Bacon took 41.2 percent salt peter, and 29.4 each of sulfur and carbon, and came up with the modern version of something… what?

Rose Marie: Army food.

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to police, if you are being molested, other than yelling, “Help!,” what is the best thing to scream?

Rose Marie: More!

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: The average child in China learns how to do it at age three. The average child in America never learns. What?

Paul Lynde: How to pull a rickshaw.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: You’re equipped with a pick, a sieve, and a shallow pan. What are you about to do?

Paul Lynde: Joan Crawford’s eyebrows.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Tom Bergeron: Bruce, you’re the most popular fruit in America. What are you?

Bruce Vilanch: Humbled.

(1948 – ) American comedy writer, songwriter & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: You became a mother two months ago. And you’ve been feeling a bit depressed lately. According to Cosmopolitan magazine, is this normal?

Paul Lynde: I hate these stretch marks!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, True or false… nylon is stronger than steel?

Paul Lynde: But steel panties don’t turn me on!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares