Subject: Intelligence

Homosexuality is God’s way of ensuring that the truly gifted aren’t burdened with children.

comedian, composer & lyricist

How is it that little children are so intelligent and men are so stupid? … it must be education that does it.

(1824 – 1895) French writer

I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

A fool with a plan can beat a genius with no plan.

(1928 – 2019) American business magnate a&d financier

One of the indictments of civilizations is that happiness and intelligence are so rarely found in the same person.

(1908 – 1976) publisher & author

Memory and teeth grow weaker with time.

I was at a party a couple of weeks ago, talking to this guy about the Gaza Strip; he thought it was the adhesive side of a maxi pad.

(1961 – ) comedian, writer, radio & television personality & blogger

You’ve got the brain of a four year old boy… and I’ll bet he was glad to get rid of it.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

I’ve been doing some extremely abstract paintings… no paint, no canvas; I just think about it.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Can’t find his ass with two hands and a flashlight

If your head is wax, don’t walk in the sun.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor

The fools in this world make about as much trouble as the wicked do.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

In politics, stupidity is not a handicap.

(1769 – 1821) French general & politician

Too slow to keep worms in a tin.

Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn’t mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.

(1908 – 1965) American broadcast journalist & newscaster

A good idea is one that hits the other fellow with a bolt of envy.

It’s a scientific fact; for every year a person lives in Hollywood, they lose two points of their IQ.

(1924 – 1984) American author

If you only read one book in your life… I highly recommend you keep your mouth shut.

(1967 – ) English comedian

People say it’s easy to make fun of retarded people, but it’s not… you really have to explain it to them.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian

If you do not understand a particular word in a piece of technical writing, ignore it; the piece will make perfect sense without it.

Silence: True wisdom’s best reply.