Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 11)

Don’t care if I do.

Miscellaneous

It was so sweet backstage, you should have seen it: the Teamsters were helping Michael Moore into the trunk of his limo.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Miscellaneous

When poverty comes in the front door, love goes out the back.

Miscellaneous

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

Miscellaneous

Any man, in the right situation, is capable of murder, but not any man is capable of being a good camper… so, murder and camping are not as similar as you might think.

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Busier than a one eyed cat watching three mice holes.

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Gooder than grits

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Well, shut my mouth.

Miscellaneous

If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don’t think I’d call it Trampo-Land, because you might think it was a store for tramps, which is not the impression we are trying to convey with our store.

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… as clumsy as a blind dog in a meat house.

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If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let ‘em go, because, man, they’re gone.

Miscellaneous

No News, Or What Killed The Dog

Miscellaneous Song Titles

I’d shake his hand, but I think that’s what’s holding up his pants.

(1961 – ) American comedian, actor & talk show host
Miscellaneous

If I ever get real rich, I hope I’m not real mean to poor people, like I am now.

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To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there’s no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.

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I’m as anxious as a one-eyed cat watching two rat holes.

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The Horrible Movie Song

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She fell out of the ugly tree; and hit every branch on the way down.

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Happiness walks on busy feet.

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Efficiency: The knack of getting somebody to do a job you don’t like.

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As full of wind as a corn-eating horse

Miscellaneous