Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 14)

It's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch.

Miscellaneous

My hind foot!

Miscellaneous

Flat as a fritter.

Miscellaneous

So ugly he could snag lightning

Miscellaneous

Two shakes of a lamb's tail

Miscellaneous

Jesus Loves Me But He Can’t Stand You

Miscellaneous

Colder than a well digger's ass

Miscellaneous

What are they planting to grow the seedless watermelon?

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Miscellaneous

I hope no one is allergic to nuts… because I like to rest mine on the table.

(1972 – ) Scottish comedian
Miscellaneous

I bet when they weren’t fighting, Vikings with horn helmets had to stick potatoes on the ends of the horns, so as to avoid eye-pokings to fellow Vikings and lady Vikings.

Miscellaneous

Well, that puts the tassel on the cap.

Miscellaneous

I bet it’s hard to break farmers of the old superstitions like “Tornado got Old Yeller, stay in the cellar.”

Miscellaneous

I went to see a hypnotist the other night and I really enjoyed myself, which made me suspicious…

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Miscellaneous

During the Middle Ages, probably one of the biggest mistakes was not putting on your armor because you were ‘just going down to the corner.’

Miscellaneous

She's got mud all over her from bum hole to breakfast time.

Miscellaneous

It is fun to be in the same decade with you.

(1882 – 1945) 32nd U.S. president
Miscellaneous

Tell a story

Miscellaneous

Well, I swanny…

Miscellaneous

Don't gobble in the woods during hunting season.

Miscellaneous

Don’t judge someone until they have tossed your salad.

(1954 – ) American actor & singer
Miscellaneous

Busier than a one eyed cat watching three mice holes.

Miscellaneous