Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 17)

Chester drawers

Miscellaneous

I have the brain of a German Shepard and the body of 16-year-old boy… they're both in my car and I want you to see them.

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & television ho
Miscellaneous Wordplay

I'll walk to town on that lip!

Miscellaneous

She’s got tongue enough for 10 rows of teeth.

Miscellaneous

Like a sow needs a sidesaddle

Miscellaneous

Busier than a one eyed cat watching three mice holes.

Miscellaneous

Faster than a scalded dog

Miscellaneous

Good news rarely comes in a brown envelope.

(1909 – 1976) British army officer, company director & politician
Miscellaneous

Deader than a door nail

Miscellaneous

If you had a brain you'd play with it.

Miscellaneous

If you want to be the most popular person in your class, whenever the professor pauses in his lecture, just let out a big snort and say “How do you figger that!” real loud. Then lean back and sort of smirk.

Miscellaneous

I’ve always felt sorry for Jesus ‘cause you know no matter what he ever did, he could never live up to his father.

(1955 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Miscellaneous

Nervous as a cow with a bucktooth calf.

Miscellaneous

Mites stay on a chicken’s ass.

Miscellaneous

Don’t Roll Those Bloodshot Eyes At Me

Miscellaneous

Nobody will ever notice it on a galloping horse.

Miscellaneous

I went to the barber and got my ears lowered.

Miscellaneous

Longer than a visit from my mother in law.

Miscellaneous

The thing I don’t get about pedophilia… why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy?

(1972 – ) Scottish comedian
Miscellaneous

If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that’s all I have to say.

Miscellaneous

Deaf as a doorknob & blind as a bat.

Miscellaneous