Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 17)

I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking the state-appointed psychiatrist is our ‘friend.’

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Instead of a bicycle built for two, what about no kinds of bicycles at all for anybody, anymore?… there, are you happy now?

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Get a hump on

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In my next life, I hope I come back as a parrot, because I already know quite a few words.

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Happier 'n a puppy with two peters.

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I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it.

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A face like a cobbler’s thumb

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Crazy as a dog in a hub cap factory.

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He’s like a mule halfway home after plowin’ all day.

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Dumber than a box full of owl shit.

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He’s so skinny… looks like he swapped legs with a wasp and got cheated out of the stinger!

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A whistling woman and a crowing hen never comes to a very good end.

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Don't get your cows runnin.

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Old as dirt

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Thirty years one summer

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Can’t the Marx Brothers be arrested and maybe even tortured for all the confusion and problems they’ve caused?

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His face was all plowed up

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Act like you’ve got some raisin.

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Got your feathers ruffled.

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She’s possum ugly.

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Peter Marshall: Helen Gurley Brown recently said of Henry Kissinger, "His most outstanding endearing quality is his ability to make someone feel…" Feel what?

Jan Murray: His thighs.

(1916 - 2006) American stand-up comedian, actor & game show host
Miscellaneous