Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Miscellaneous
(Page 20)
The overhead projector has done more to destroy learning than any other thing I can think of.
Tom Magliozzi
(1937 – 2014) American co-host of radio show “Car Talk”
Miscellaneous
Friendship is like peeing your pants; everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth.
Miscellaneous
The only hope of deciphering her invitations, someone said, was to pin them up on the wall and run past them!
Rupert Hart-Davis
(1907 – 1999) English publisher & editor
Miscellaneous
On a woman’s poor handwriting
Even a blind hog finds an acorn now and then.
Anonymous
Miscellaneous
Everyone gets lucky sometimes.
Luck
Other expressions
He’s dumber than a day old pig.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.
Evan Esar
(1899 – 1995) humorist
Miscellaneous
Brother's keeper
It is fun to be in the same decade with you.
Franklin D. Roosevelt
(1882 – 1945) 32nd U.S. president
Miscellaneous
In a letter to Winston Churchill
Like a spring lizard in a henhouse
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Active
Lively
Other expressions
I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because then, yahoo, I’d have all my money back.
Miscellaneous
Don’t Roll Those Bloodshot Eyes At Me
Richard Thompson
Miscellaneous
Written by Ruth Hall & Hank Penny
When a dog bites a man that is not news, but when a man bites a dog that is news.
Charles Anderson Dana
(1819 – 1897) American journalist, author & senior government official
Miscellaneous
News
That brush was so thick a dog couldn't bark in it.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
In this adventure Harry will do battle with giant lizards, face the attack of the Death Eaters, and in perhaps the most difficult task of all for a 14-year-old, ask a girl to be his date at the Yule Ball.
Miscellaneous
“Goblet of Fire”
I spoke to her and she didn't say pea turkey squat.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
She was quiet
If [such and such happens] then it’s Katie bar the door.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
There will be in trouble
I'll slap you to sleep, then slap you for sleepin.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
If that boy had a good idea it would die of loneliness.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don’t want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, “What was THAT?!”
Miscellaneous
Dumber 'n a sack of wet mice
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
He’d make a cat laugh.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Foolish
Humor
Other expressions
If a frog had wings it wouldn’t bump its ass a-hoppin.’
Country expression
Miscellaneous
In response to "if"
Other expressions
Page 20 of 75
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