Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 20)

The overhead projector has done more to destroy learning than any other thing I can think of.

(1937 – 2014) American co-host of radio show “Car Talk”

Friendship is like peeing your pants; everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth.

The only hope of deciphering her invitations, someone said, was to pin them up on the wall and run past them!

(1907 – 1999) English publisher & editor

Even a blind hog finds an acorn now and then.

He’s dumber than a day old pig.

The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.

(1899 – 1995) humorist

It is fun to be in the same decade with you.

(1882 – 1945) 32nd U.S. president

Like a spring lizard in a henhouse

I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because then, yahoo, I’d have all my money back.

Don’t Roll Those Bloodshot Eyes At Me

When a dog bites a man that is not news, but when a man bites a dog that is news.

(1819 – 1897) American journalist, author & senior government official

That brush was so thick a dog couldn't bark in it.

In this adventure Harry will do battle with giant lizards, face the attack of the Death Eaters, and in perhaps the most difficult task of all for a 14-year-old, ask a girl to be his date at the Yule Ball.

I spoke to her and she didn't say pea turkey squat.

If [such and such happens] then it’s Katie bar the door.

I'll slap you to sleep, then slap you for sleepin.

If that boy had a good idea it would die of loneliness.

I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don’t want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, “What was THAT?!”

Dumber 'n a sack of wet mice

He’d make a cat laugh.

If a frog had wings it wouldn’t bump its ass a-hoppin.’